Mar 20, 2005

Dualistic Thinking

My comments on Rudy Olivo's posting on sing-songy smurfarrific Christians

Thanks Rudy for bringing up the discussion I need to revisit from time to time. For me, my Christianty is a tension (or imposter identity) I bring out when I am around Christians. I have another guy I bring out around worldly folks, and I must admit that I like him better, he is more like William Wallace, Brennan Manning... Russell Crowe?

The imposter (on one side) and the cynic (on the other side) seem to be the two sides of the pendulum I swing between in my journey as a maturing believer. Not sure why this happens, but in my environment (all Christian young people, and Boomer Christians) I find the imposter-guy readily on my tongue for a quick quip during bible study, spontaneous prayer moments, and how-ya-doing dude greetings to every passerby on the sidewalk. He is a fake and pretty much runs my life (even my inner life sometimes).

The cynic is much more refreshing [irony mine] and I admit, he rarely comes out; only when I want to "connect" with a college student, or stumble upon some great spiritual breakthrough or truth (only to be stifled by the imposter again).

This dualism (made light of here for purposes of making my point) was brought painfully to my attention during the scene in Two Towers where Gollum/Smeagol interract at a reflective moonlit pool while Sam and Frodo slept. Remember this scene, it was breathtaking for me. Rent the movie (even just for this scene).

Anyway, not sure which guy will win out, but I am NOT convinced the imposter is truly Godly, and I am unsure whether the cynic will ever experience joy (at least not around Christians).

Anyone care to sort out this mess for me (am I being to dualistic?)

jmak

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