Originally written 02.18.05 as a graded assignment for a graduate class on diversity
Reflection
This topic, diversity, makes me a bit uncomfortable. I have been taught that it is a big deal. I was taught to tread lightly when speaking about it in the company of those who are white, and avoid it in the company of anyone who was a minority, especially anyone black. Now, this was not specifically said to me, but I saw it modeled and picked up on at a young age the inconsistency shown to people of color.
I never learned to speak of minorities without using labels, it seemed the easiest way to describe who I was speaking about, and if you said it to my family and extended family it carried with it an unspoken connotation of fear and lower socioeconomic status. Several examples of this come to mind as I journal today. My great grandmother, while driving us back home in East Grand Rapids, Michigan, would encourage us to count the black people we saw from our back seat vantage as she reached for the door locks and asked us to lock them as well. I was roughly ten at the time, and my sister eight, we thought it was like a road trip game and played willingly. She would tell us how the neighborhood she lived in, where my great grandfather had built their house and fifty others in the area was slowly becoming blacker and her fear was evident.
No one ever discussed this openly at family potlucks or anything, but we avoided contact with minorities like the plague. No minority ever attended our church, or friend circles. I remember my great uncle and aunt caused an uproar when, unable to have children, adopted two Korean toddlers. They were both University professors and provided a great home for the two children. We visited once and recently at a family reunion I saw these cousins and we laughed that it had been twenty years since we had seen one another. It was not by chance, my whole family wrote them off. They are known as the “black sheep” of our family.
Because of my heritage I often assume minorities keep away from me too. This bothered me for a long while. I guess I assume they see me as a white, educated, ignorant republican. These alone are damaging, but lump them all together with being a Christian and the stereotype is perfect; white, Anglo-Saxon protestant. Ironically, I have adopted to not use labels to be divisive anymore. I have many friends from different ethnic groups then myself.
From the above descriptions it is evident to me that I have an uphill battle to rightly discern what role diversity will play in my life. A brief definition for me would include being knowledgeable of the history of intolerance and oppression, compensating for these differences in your spheres of influence including your own friendships, and seeking to diversify environments for the sake of harmony. I will likely read this after the course and say something to the extent of, “What was I thinking, that does not even scratch the surface.” I feel like diversity is a serious issue that demands deep inquiry from anyone who seeks to be authentic in their role as a human and as a Christian. It really is a human rights issue. Everyone has to deal with it and everyone should.
The word is often overused in my circles and has come to represent some sort of extra knowledge that does not relate to the average white person, when in actuality it could be the impetus for a real breakthrough in many of their lives. For my life it has caused me to face old fears that have been left unexamined and therefore, unchecked in my psyche. To become a true contemplative Christian I need to interact with the idea of diversity and make it an active goal.
A Catalyst for Change
I have felt strongly for some time that one great contribution I will make in the field of student affairs is becoming a bridge between the homosexual community and Christian Higher Education, and eventually the Church. I cannot explain how I am going to do this yet, I just sense, as a Myers-Briggs intuitive-feeler would sense, that it will happen. The beliefs that seem to be hurdles for a person of faith tend to be one of behavior as well as original design. How can someone be a believer and have this sort of behavior as well? How can someone be created by a holy God with this affliction? These are key questions that I’ll need to examine. Similarly, how can believers continue to hate and ignore the community needs of those who are homosexual? If history is a guide it could be thirty years before reconciliation is made. I believe that if we are to use the bible to refute the homosexual position we are treading on thin ice. The Church is notorious for using slivers of scripture to defend their Doctrines. I also know that this refutation is fueled not by love, but by fear and hatred. That is how I know it isn’t authentic. I will have to get to the core of why I and Christians in general, protect the gospel like some commodity we own when it was intended as a free gift. These ideas are the points of tension in this area I’d like to enact change within.
Race as Social Construction
As I read the assigned pages and articles I was made even more aware of other’s perception of being white in America. The article: Waking up White: What it means to accept your legacy for better or for worse, reminded me of how I have come to embrace diversity. I believe that it was not until college that I began to unravel my past perceptions and form my own. Tragically, it was not until this Master’s class that I actually began asking the hard questions and reading challenging material. To be near the beginning of a transformation like this and have to write about it in this journal is difficult. I feel very out of touch with myself and will likely need time after this class to process what these readings are teaching me. However, to reflect on what I have learned is fairly easy. I am learning that the chasm between my perception of being white and others perception of me being white is vast. A lingering question is how much responsibility I need to take for these contrasting perceptions? Can changing my early formed attitudes of racial identity actually help the problem? As a white person I sometimes ask myself, “Is there a problem?” This question is answered more often, yes, then it is no, especially after reading these assignments.
Some notable things challenged or caught my attention from the readings. One of these was the statement, “…almost every student who enters a course that deals with the issue of race… enters the room on the first day with strong feelings” (Rothenberg, p. 1). I admit that I too came with a barrage of feelings and was unsure how this course would unravel the mess for me. I chuckled when I heard that APU recently added diversity as one of its core competencies for this program. Now, after interacting with my fellow students and experiencing the Museum of Tolerance I am glad they did. Several sentences later Rothenberg (2001) explains that if we don’t learn how to handle our feelings now about diversity the journey will not ever really begin (p. 1).
Marion or Bust
This last week I spent time re-connecting with my friends Nate and Latrese about my class and hopes I had about utilizing them as resources. I remember asking Nate about his role as a mentor to me. I felt uncomfortable as I reiterated my desired outcome for our time together. I told him that I wanted to be able to process my ignorance with him, discuss relevant writings on diversity, hear his struggle as a black man on a predominantly white Christian college campus, and somehow despite it all, continue to nurture our friendship. Even though I have been friends with Nate for years my request sounded like I was just interested in him for his skin color. He was gracious and said we needed to start somewhere. I hope to approach this next six weeks with good listening skills and an open heart. I am grateful that I am still here in Marion as this class unfolds instead of in a new position like I will be this July. I have a chance to walk this issue out amongst friends who understand my culture and the culture we work in, namely, Christian higher education.
I will close with an illustration of how I blundered in my journey of multicultural competence. One student who is a babysitter for my son is from Korean heritage. I was talking with her and another student while making copies one day. She began telling me about her recent engagement and how her father was supporting her financially in the decision to marry this summer. I asked her where her dad was from and she said Germany. I tried not to look surprised, because it was obvious that she was Korean, not German. It then dawned on me that she likely had a mother who was Korean then, so I asked her where her mother was from; thankfully she didn’t pick up on the need for me to make sense out of her ethnicity. She told me her mother was from Germany too, and without giving me time to ponder and question more with a silly comeback like, “Wait a minute, you are not fooling me, it is obvious you are Korean,” she kept talking dreamily of how wonderful her fiancé was. After she left, the other student, who was white, looked at me and said, “Didn’t you know she was adopted?” A bell went off in my head right then and reminded me how ignorant I can be sometimes.
I'd love to hear your journey or opinion on he issue, please reply via comment
References
Rothenberg, P. (2001). Race, class, and gender in the United States. (fifth ed.). Worth Publishers. New York, NY
Reflection
This topic, diversity, makes me a bit uncomfortable. I have been taught that it is a big deal. I was taught to tread lightly when speaking about it in the company of those who are white, and avoid it in the company of anyone who was a minority, especially anyone black. Now, this was not specifically said to me, but I saw it modeled and picked up on at a young age the inconsistency shown to people of color.
I never learned to speak of minorities without using labels, it seemed the easiest way to describe who I was speaking about, and if you said it to my family and extended family it carried with it an unspoken connotation of fear and lower socioeconomic status. Several examples of this come to mind as I journal today. My great grandmother, while driving us back home in East Grand Rapids, Michigan, would encourage us to count the black people we saw from our back seat vantage as she reached for the door locks and asked us to lock them as well. I was roughly ten at the time, and my sister eight, we thought it was like a road trip game and played willingly. She would tell us how the neighborhood she lived in, where my great grandfather had built their house and fifty others in the area was slowly becoming blacker and her fear was evident.
No one ever discussed this openly at family potlucks or anything, but we avoided contact with minorities like the plague. No minority ever attended our church, or friend circles. I remember my great uncle and aunt caused an uproar when, unable to have children, adopted two Korean toddlers. They were both University professors and provided a great home for the two children. We visited once and recently at a family reunion I saw these cousins and we laughed that it had been twenty years since we had seen one another. It was not by chance, my whole family wrote them off. They are known as the “black sheep” of our family.
Because of my heritage I often assume minorities keep away from me too. This bothered me for a long while. I guess I assume they see me as a white, educated, ignorant republican. These alone are damaging, but lump them all together with being a Christian and the stereotype is perfect; white, Anglo-Saxon protestant. Ironically, I have adopted to not use labels to be divisive anymore. I have many friends from different ethnic groups then myself.
From the above descriptions it is evident to me that I have an uphill battle to rightly discern what role diversity will play in my life. A brief definition for me would include being knowledgeable of the history of intolerance and oppression, compensating for these differences in your spheres of influence including your own friendships, and seeking to diversify environments for the sake of harmony. I will likely read this after the course and say something to the extent of, “What was I thinking, that does not even scratch the surface.” I feel like diversity is a serious issue that demands deep inquiry from anyone who seeks to be authentic in their role as a human and as a Christian. It really is a human rights issue. Everyone has to deal with it and everyone should.
The word is often overused in my circles and has come to represent some sort of extra knowledge that does not relate to the average white person, when in actuality it could be the impetus for a real breakthrough in many of their lives. For my life it has caused me to face old fears that have been left unexamined and therefore, unchecked in my psyche. To become a true contemplative Christian I need to interact with the idea of diversity and make it an active goal.
A Catalyst for Change
I have felt strongly for some time that one great contribution I will make in the field of student affairs is becoming a bridge between the homosexual community and Christian Higher Education, and eventually the Church. I cannot explain how I am going to do this yet, I just sense, as a Myers-Briggs intuitive-feeler would sense, that it will happen. The beliefs that seem to be hurdles for a person of faith tend to be one of behavior as well as original design. How can someone be a believer and have this sort of behavior as well? How can someone be created by a holy God with this affliction? These are key questions that I’ll need to examine. Similarly, how can believers continue to hate and ignore the community needs of those who are homosexual? If history is a guide it could be thirty years before reconciliation is made. I believe that if we are to use the bible to refute the homosexual position we are treading on thin ice. The Church is notorious for using slivers of scripture to defend their Doctrines. I also know that this refutation is fueled not by love, but by fear and hatred. That is how I know it isn’t authentic. I will have to get to the core of why I and Christians in general, protect the gospel like some commodity we own when it was intended as a free gift. These ideas are the points of tension in this area I’d like to enact change within.
Race as Social Construction
As I read the assigned pages and articles I was made even more aware of other’s perception of being white in America. The article: Waking up White: What it means to accept your legacy for better or for worse, reminded me of how I have come to embrace diversity. I believe that it was not until college that I began to unravel my past perceptions and form my own. Tragically, it was not until this Master’s class that I actually began asking the hard questions and reading challenging material. To be near the beginning of a transformation like this and have to write about it in this journal is difficult. I feel very out of touch with myself and will likely need time after this class to process what these readings are teaching me. However, to reflect on what I have learned is fairly easy. I am learning that the chasm between my perception of being white and others perception of me being white is vast. A lingering question is how much responsibility I need to take for these contrasting perceptions? Can changing my early formed attitudes of racial identity actually help the problem? As a white person I sometimes ask myself, “Is there a problem?” This question is answered more often, yes, then it is no, especially after reading these assignments.
Some notable things challenged or caught my attention from the readings. One of these was the statement, “…almost every student who enters a course that deals with the issue of race… enters the room on the first day with strong feelings” (Rothenberg, p. 1). I admit that I too came with a barrage of feelings and was unsure how this course would unravel the mess for me. I chuckled when I heard that APU recently added diversity as one of its core competencies for this program. Now, after interacting with my fellow students and experiencing the Museum of Tolerance I am glad they did. Several sentences later Rothenberg (2001) explains that if we don’t learn how to handle our feelings now about diversity the journey will not ever really begin (p. 1).
Marion or Bust
This last week I spent time re-connecting with my friends Nate and Latrese about my class and hopes I had about utilizing them as resources. I remember asking Nate about his role as a mentor to me. I felt uncomfortable as I reiterated my desired outcome for our time together. I told him that I wanted to be able to process my ignorance with him, discuss relevant writings on diversity, hear his struggle as a black man on a predominantly white Christian college campus, and somehow despite it all, continue to nurture our friendship. Even though I have been friends with Nate for years my request sounded like I was just interested in him for his skin color. He was gracious and said we needed to start somewhere. I hope to approach this next six weeks with good listening skills and an open heart. I am grateful that I am still here in Marion as this class unfolds instead of in a new position like I will be this July. I have a chance to walk this issue out amongst friends who understand my culture and the culture we work in, namely, Christian higher education.
I will close with an illustration of how I blundered in my journey of multicultural competence. One student who is a babysitter for my son is from Korean heritage. I was talking with her and another student while making copies one day. She began telling me about her recent engagement and how her father was supporting her financially in the decision to marry this summer. I asked her where her dad was from and she said Germany. I tried not to look surprised, because it was obvious that she was Korean, not German. It then dawned on me that she likely had a mother who was Korean then, so I asked her where her mother was from; thankfully she didn’t pick up on the need for me to make sense out of her ethnicity. She told me her mother was from Germany too, and without giving me time to ponder and question more with a silly comeback like, “Wait a minute, you are not fooling me, it is obvious you are Korean,” she kept talking dreamily of how wonderful her fiancé was. After she left, the other student, who was white, looked at me and said, “Didn’t you know she was adopted?” A bell went off in my head right then and reminded me how ignorant I can be sometimes.
I'd love to hear your journey or opinion on he issue, please reply via comment
References
Rothenberg, P. (2001). Race, class, and gender in the United States. (fifth ed.). Worth Publishers. New York, NY
