makfoolery

Migrated North

2008-08-13T10:46:00.001-04:00

I have moved my blog to wordpress (for numerous reasons).

Check me out.

New Blog & New Album

2007-01-14T00:03:00.000-05:00

Check out my new Family Blog at http://makowskyalbum.blogspot.com/ (click on title above for quicklink)

We'll update some family-specific stuff there... This blog is going to still be around, but since I am a grad student have very little precious time to drop posts here. Come May of 2007 that should change.

JMak

Kramer the Idiot

2006-11-21T19:04:00.000-05:00

Our beloved Michael Richards (Kramer from the late Seinfeld sitcom) found himself in hot water several nights ago when some hecklers at one of his comedy shows caused him to fly off the handle. Even more uncomfortable was his apology during David Letterman last night taking up some of the airtime of Letterman's guest and Richards' friend Jerry Seinfeld. Check out iVillage for the video scoop

Special Victims Unit

2006-09-06T00:47:00.000-04:00

I am a closet Law & Order fan. I love old episodes, all the spin-offs, marathon Saturdays and even the regular change of characters over the seasons. What did surprise me however was the ongoing controversy over Det. Olivia Benson's sexuality (played by Mariska Hargitay, recent winner of the Emmy for outstanding lead actress in a drama)...

Apparently, the internet chat rooms are all a-buzz with rumors that her rough, masculine, female cop character is a lesbian.

I had to do some research on this one because my wife and I are both huge fans of Hargitay and had assumed that she was straight (probably because we always thought she had a thing for her partner, Det. Stabler).

What I found out was inconclusive, but I did discover a bit about her history that was interesting...

Much Ado About Something

2006-07-14T18:02:00.000-04:00

An update and a disclaimer...

First, the disclaimer: If several of my recent posts seem familiar, or perhaps about completely different topics that seem to have no relevent tie, you are right. I have migrated my other posts from the other "ever-so-unpopular" seven blogs I have since no one read them there. Not that they were worth reading actually. I am not sure I even read my "grad papers" blog myself after posting it. I meant well you understand.

Next, an update: I write this blog today from my new hometown of Lakewood, Colorado outside of Denver, on my new MacBook that has replaced my aging and now euthenized Fujitsu laptop, in my neighborhood library with wireless, looking out at the Rocky Mountain range, a few days before I start my new job at Colorado Christian University. There you go. Want more? Write me.

We are renting a tonhouse with intent to buy a house this next year. My first house since living in university owned housing almost my entire life (adult life).

We have little space, but it is bigger than anything I have ever lived in and we would love visitors (let me ask first though).

I have reconnected with several long-lost friends who are now in the area: (1) Kim and Eric Nentrup, (2) Dawn Koch, (3) Dave Ward, (4) my Hope roommate Rob Ferguson, (5) my early childhood friend Jocelyn Sanchez. If you know others I'd love to connect with them, send me their names.

My new role at CCU is in a new hybrid career center, where I will serve in a sort of life-coach position. It's pretty intense to describe, so maybe call or email if you want more.

Ethan is 3 1/2 now, Mel is over 30 and I'm older than her. We will post pics as soon as grad school gives me a break.

If you want my updated contact info send me an email at JMAK (at) APU (dot) EDU and I'll send it to you.

Thanks for the time...
JMak

The FX Network Gets an "A"

2006-07-14T17:59:00.000-04:00

The FX Network lines up a great season...

This season proves to be a winner for the network that during the first few years after its relaunch, was known for little else than airing reruns of such Fox shows as The X-Files and Married... with Children.

In recent years, however, the network has emerged as a major force in original cable programming, gaining both acclaim and notoriety for daring, edgy dramas. This began in 2002 with the release of its breakout hit, The Shield, a police drama that took viewers and critics by surprise with its extreme graphic content. This trend continued the following year with Nip/Tuck, which chronicles the world of plastic surgery. The network has often been compared to HBO in the sense that they, unlike many broadcast networks, are willing to take risks with their programming and push the envelope of what can be done with television. It's important to note that while these shows draw attention due to their graphic content, they are also critically acclaimed for their strong storylines and characters.

Capitalizing on the success of the hit documentary Super Size Me, creator Morgan Spurlock launched a new series, 30 Days, on FX in June 2005. The series puts its subjects in situations uncomfortable to them for 30 days, such as making millionaires work for minimum wage, and having Christians live in a Gay community.

In the summer of 2005, FX debuted two new comedy series, Starved, about the daily lives of four friends with eating disorders who live in New York, and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, about four people who own a bar in the titular city and somehow always wind up having comic misadventures, usually very un-PC. Both of these shows feature frank sexual dialogue and strong language. Starved and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia again display just how much FX wants to stay on the cutting-edge of television, by continuing to push the very limits of the medium.

FX also airs selected NASCAR events from the NEXTEL Cup and Busch Series from February to June of each year as part of Fox's NASCAR television package.

In the fall of 2005 FX started airing reruns of That '70s Show, Dharma and Greg, and Spin City and 24. Also, FX will start airing reruns of Malcolm In The Middle in 2007 and The Bernie Mac Show in 2008.

But the most exciting show (airing Wednesday March 8th at 10PM E/P) called Black.White. will prove to be their best yet.

Check out the site link and be ready for some edgy TV.

The Emergent Church

2006-07-14T17:56:00.000-04:00

Today in a PBS Religion & Ethics special, Brian McLaren was interviewed discussing the emergent church movement and it's affect on America. Afterward, I could not help but have several unanswered questions (maybe this makes me emergent?) regarding this movement in our mainline protestant churches right now. The following is a thinking out loud list I have scratched down. Tell me what you think, or at least help me ask the questions better...

Emergent seems to be a white-church thing. I have never seen a Black church, Vietnamese church, or Latino church interviewed asking to discuss the emergent movement. Maybe this backlash culturally against the modernist way of doing church is mostly a white thing?
If this is a white thing, what are the implications of this... white men have always been disgruntled since the Reformation? The movement is just another way to exclude other people groups? How can something be defined by what it does not want to be? Hmmm.
This movement seems to be more about The Medium and less about The Message.
Are other historical religions going through reform right now? Not really. Well, maybe Catholicism, but not Hinduism, Buddhism, Mormonism, or Orthodoxy. Does this mean that post-modernism hasn't reached these religions yet, or is this another white thing (or better said, a cultural thing).
The chief aim of this movement is to appeal to the masses. This reinforces the old adage, "Religion is the opiate of the masses" -- a phrase we have been trying to outrun since Humanism began challenging Christianity.

The Five Most Important Religious Trends of 2005

2006-07-14T17:55:00.000-04:00

My comments on this MSNBC article by Marc Gellman of Newsweek...

Gellman lists the following five trends as characteristic of the church in 2005. What do you think?

Pathetic prayer. Churches are more concerned with programming than with prayer.

The continuing demise of the black church. Using the measures of church attendance, Bible knowledge, the priority of faith in a person's life, and the reliance on the religious community for support and relationships, Barna concludes that things are not looking good for black churches.

The energizing of the evangelicals. Although only 7 percent of adults are evangelicals, their voice is the loudest and their energy, charity, Bible study, and prayer life is the greatest.

Biblical illiteracy. The Barna Group has discovered that most Christians are in increasing numbers biblically illiterate.

Revolutionaries. Barna labels as “Christian revolutionaries” the more than 20 million people who are pursuing their Christian faith outside the box.

Gellman uses Barna's research to show these top five religious trends of 2005 as a wake-up call for clergy worldwide. I found them interesting because many try and guess what trends will effect us in 2006, but few back it up with Barna's research. Rabbi Marc Gellman puts forth the list above. After you read the article in full drop me a comment and chime in with your own, here is my list of trends and predictions before I read Gellman:

Rise of the Pentacostal Movement worldwide ushering in the next Great Awakening
American churches borrowing leadership trends from Chinese churches
Post-modernism becomes an outdated phrase as generation-X labels are today
A homosexual "mother-theresa-type" emerges changing gay perception
New biblical archeology sheds doubt on reliability of scripture and millions doubt
New Pope Benedict XVI is assassinated by an Iraqi militant as an act of terrorism
Evangelicals champion evironmental issues and change outcome of next election

We Were Meant To Live...

2006-07-14T17:54:00.000-04:00

I had a great dialogue (debate) recently with an old friend. A spirited discussion over email about community and its importance for believers. Some context might help.

Rob (my friend) is living in fort collins, colorado where he attends a congregation that takes Acts 2 fairly literal. He and his family live in converted housing with other Christian families, share meals occasionally, maybe work some outreach projects together, possibly watch each others kids, intentionally desiring to live out the principle in scripture "And they shared everything, and no one was in need."

Jason (me) is living in steamboat springs, colorado (about 2 hours away) in a college residence hall, supervising freshman men and women who are attending a 2-year college in a ski and snowboard resort town. He sees drunk students every night, conficates marijuana and related substances weekly from various rooms (we call these busts), and has only met three Christians in the entire place, intentionally trying to live out the principle in scripture, "Go ye into all the world making disciples"

Each of us has a very different approach to the idea of "in the world, but not of it."

What is the importance of community for the believer?

Is it living with other believers (literally)? Living with non-believers (literally)? Or, somewhere in the middle?

Chime in, were both eagerly awaiting your insights...

JMak

Intentional Christian Community

2006-07-14T17:52:00.000-04:00

A sermonette by Rev. Jordan Bajis
Holy Trinity Community Church
Fort Collins, CO, USA

For the past thirty-two years I have centered my life focus on learning what it means to live as a part of an intentional, committed, covenant Christian community. Why? Because the Scripture make plain that God’s deepest desire is for his people to love Him, one another, and to share that love with all people — and that simply cannot be done by an isolated individual.

Here are some significant lessons I have learned through extensive study, personal observation, and my own life experience from three specific Christian communities. Although the following could be expanded, putting them down as simple bullet points, offers the advantage of getting clear overview of the problems American Christians face. Listing these problems, opens the way to see what is needed, and suggest possible solutions (which I will do in the follow paragraphs).

• American Christians live, think and act very much like non-Christians. They have the same goals (i.e., material success, personal happiness, career advancement, etc.), the same problems (in great debt, schedules are over-committed, marital and family relationships are as fragmented and tumultuous), and lack the same moral depth (divorce is as common, as individualistic and “me” centered, lifestyle is aimed as much around pursuing comfort, rather than service).

• The economic pressures of the society have glued people to a way of life that demands heavy work loads to pay off large mortgages , credit card debt, and other expenses that flow from a fast pace life (eating out, childcare, house cleaning services, sponsoring sporting or other extra curricular events for the children, etc.).

• The above leaves little space or energy for the average Christian to give him/herself to meaningful prayer, study, relationships of depth within and outside one’s family, or to serve others in substantial ways (ministry) — in other words, the current state of affairs makes it nearly impossible for the American Christian to follow Christ. In essence, Jesus is “at the end of the line”, and gets what is left after everything else had second and third helpings; an overspent, weary, dazed, and worn-thin life.

• Even if Christians had the time and money, their way of life and thought is so distant from the life and teaching described Scripture that they would not even know what, where, or how to begin living a dedicated Christian life.

• Confusion as to how a Christian is to live as a faithful disciple today deepens given that even if contemporary Christians understood how Christians and lived Jesus’ teachings in the first centuries, the current cultural context is substantially different (different economic system, family structure, class system, pace of life, means of work to just name a few). What “worked” then, in many cases, simply has no place in this time.

• As a result of all of the above, many who profess Christ have “given up, and given in” to the prevalent culture. Life purpose is no longer about love and service, but about getting what you can now. Therefore, most who name the name of Christ are more interested in pursuing financial wealth, making a “name” for oneself, entertainment, buying more stuff (on and on) rather than knowing the God who loves them with perfect love.

• When those who have not received the revelation of God’s love look at “Christians” who do not seem to be “revealing” this love in how they live, they deduce that there is nothing there to see. The most amazing, stunning, and awesome display of God’s love and power in His coming to the earth in the flesh gets silenced by lives that seem to say that it is not as interesting, or exciting as other things one could do and be in this life.

So what is one to conclude? It certainly is not that the American Christian should give up following Christ because it is difficult. In past ages, Christians were severely challenged by families, governments and masters, calling them to renounce Christ or else face rejection, loss of income, or even their very own life. Such persecution has not diminished today, but actually is on the rise throughout the world. Christians in America likewise face persecution (or “pressure” as the root of the word implies). No, if one goes to Church, or attends a Bible Study, he will not get hung the next morning. But, if one is honest about being a Christ follower, he or she will get persecuted nonetheless (“Indeed, all those who live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.” 1 Timothy 3:12). It is a part of what it means to follow Jesus.

“… a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household. He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. “And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. “He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it. (Mark 10:36-39)

What is the solution? The first part of the answer lays in a resolve to be faithful to Christ, to follow Him no matter the obstacles. There is never a good excuse to answer the sacrificial love of God with a life of compromise. And God will give all the power one needs to be faithful, if he or she is committed to love God no matter what. The Lord is able to provide help and power, but it can only be received by those who refuse to look for exits when things get tough. God wants his people not to look for exits when under duress, but to look to Him. That is a part of what it means to be a follower of His Son.

With this firm commitment, possibilities open up. Without it, there is not a chance.

_______________________________

But given that one wants “out” of the shackles of compromise and is committed to live a faithful Christian life, what would be required? Below I offer another bullet list that summarizes what I have learned. If one wishes to live for Christ in this time, and this society the following must be present.

• A commitment to be and do whatever the Lord asks. I’ve already stressed this more than once, but it cannot be underlined enough. If one would follow Christ, he or she must give their best (not leftover), their fullest (even above family sentiments, and career ambitions). To be a servant of God is not to be “in competition” with anything on earth. It is to follow the Lord as God, with a full heart. It is to give one’s soul and attention to love others the way Christ loves, and to worship God as God When asked what the Bibles teach is the most important thing that one must give oneself to, Jesus answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the foremost commandment. And the second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself’.” (Matthew 22:35-39) Not an option for a few. A command. The foremost command.

• This person must seek out and join him/herself together with other of like mind and heart. There is too much going against a life of faithfulness to think that one can live a life of consecration and undistracted devotion on one’s own. Besides this obvious fact, the clear teaching of both the Old and New Testaments make it clear that God does not simply call individuals to do private devotions, or to occasional acts of service, but to lifestyle that teaches, invites, encourages,, and provides a living context to live in love.

• The Christian who would live faithful must begin to pray, and mean it when he/she prays. This means that the person receives instruction in how to pray, asks for accountability to stay faithful to pray, and joins others as they pray. At the beginning, the Christian will not be able to pray much – there is too little time, the mind is too distracted, and it all seems to unfamiliar. But when one begins to pray with intention and dedication, he or she will begin to see the love of God, and want to offer oneself in yet a fuller way. Of course, it is assumed that this person is in an environment that will help this Christian to grow in this area, given that he/she has already chosen to surround oneself with a company of other committed believers, many of whom know the way of prayer. All of the above applies toward one committing him/herself to the study, prayer and application of Scripture. Prayers need to be formed and directed by the prayerful study of God’s Word.

• The person must be teachable; ready to learn, and to apply what is learned. The Christian in America has learned a great many ways of thinking, relating, and living out one’s life based on a presupposition that life is about getting “ahead” and getting the most you can. This way of life clearly is a contradiction to the life Christ both taught and demonstrated. Because we have be so misinformed, and “de”-formed by attitudes that ignore the reality of God’s love, the Christian of this age has both much to unlearn, and then to learn “different”. Here is a beginning list, both practical and spiritual… (if the two can be separated)…

… learning how to make a budget, write a schedule, pastor one’s family, train one’s children (to be disciples of Christ, to be responsible), minister the love of God to others as singles, or as a family

…but perhaps chief among all, is to learn is how to simplify one’s life - learning how to limit expenses, and work less hours so as to allow more time to…

• pray, and study

• pastor and care for one’s family

• serve others both inside and outside of one’s Christian Community

• Enter into a ‘way of life’ that supports the ideals of love and faithfulness. The first Christian were called people of ‘the way” (Acts 9:2). They showed a way of life that illustrated what it meant to follow Jesus, he who said, “I am the way, and the truth and the life.” To follow Jesus, you joined with who through following his teaching, knew they way to life. It was essential then. It is essential today. Many can be inspired at a conference, seminar, or through a sermon or song, but many more times than not, the devotion wears thin and then dissolves into forgetfulness from failure of a life context. Inspiring words are good, but without a life to act upon them, they can actually numb a soul. The person may sincerely want to live what he or she has heard, but the lack of support, coupled together with ignorance as to how to sustain a faithful life is too much. The person is too “small and not enough” before the stresses, challenges and pressures of a culture that either directly or indirectly denies that living for Christ is “reasonable.”

The solution here is to learn from Christians of former ages who faced similar challenges. Instead of giving in the prevailing culture, and assimilating to a way of life that contradicted the very teachings of their Savior, these believers formed into orders, churches and other fellowships that presented a contrasting culture. These committed covenant communities looked to the New Testament for a pattern of life, a “way” that allowed them to look first seek God, then share what they learned with each other, and others.

Although are various expressions of this kind of life, each genuine Christian community has characteristics that was present in very the first Christian Church (as described in the New Testament book of Acts).^{^[1]}

1) They were together. They did not live “cross-town”, or simply see each other at “mid-week” meetings.

2) They were together continually. They lived close to one another so they could practically commit themselves to share their (Christian) life with one another. This is a part of what it means to live the Christian “covenant” (Matthew 26:28; Luke 1:72). One needs to do this if you plan on sharing his/her Christian life with others. It is needed today.

3) They devoted themselves learn, study, and apply Christian teaching. This was not a subject to be skimmed ‘on the side’, once other responsibilities no longer claimed their attention. It was the focus of their lives. In the teaching, they learned what life was about, and how to live it. Each authentic Christian community, throughout the centuries up to the present, commits to providing teach that will help people live faithful loving lives, and pastors an attitude and way of relating to it that says it merits your best attention and highest reverence.

4) They covenanted themselves not only to the Lord but — through Christ— committed their lives to one another. People in these communities were not here today, gone tomorrow, based on how they felt about it, or if something “better” came along. The committed (covenant) love of God in Christ gave them a pattern of how they were to live, treat, and relate with one another. On the basis of this commitment, they learned how to love others – as servants, sacrificially, and in the power of the Holy Spirit. More than anything, the cold, selfish individualism of our times needs to see that there is another way to live; and that it is a far and away better way of life.

5) Community is centered around worship and prayer. People of God gather together not simply to be together, but to be together before the Lord, and for the Lord. Genuine healthy Christian communities find their life in His life, and know that outside of reverent worship and a prayer-filled life, everything tends toward self-centeredness. If a People are to represent Christ and His ways, it is essential that they first know how to be present before Him. Without a living relationship with God in prayer, study, and service (all ways that the early Church understood the word “worship”), a community will look inward, and then implode, extinguishing itself on its self-centeredness.

6) Those in community live open, giving lives. The first Christians, and Christians who have formed honest communities, did not make a distinction between what is “mine” from what is “yours”. Although communities may differ on how practical aspects of possessions were shared, it is clear, that even those communities that did not put everything into a “common pot” considered that as their lives were not their own, but Christ’s (1 Corinthians 6:19). Let his love lead them to do whatever would most please Him; giving to those in need within the fellowship, offering the very fellowship of love to the world.

In each characteristic above, it becomes obvious that the inspiration and foundation behind the why, what and how of Christian community is a vision of the love of God. Community is the sane man or woman’s response to the infinitely deep love of God.

To see the love of God – his commitment to us, his trustworthiness, his generosity, his sacrificial love, his patience, his nearness, his desire to teach and train us that we might serve with His Son for all eternity …it just goes on and on even to infinity. It just is heavy, too big, too much. We cannot even come close to receive (and then to share) this love with the “thimble sized” lifestyle American lifestyle present to us. We want to “answer” His love in full measure, with a full life given over to Him. Who would want to place limits upon what He would wish to share with us. And what greater honor could there be then for God to trust us, and give us the opportunity to give ourselves back to Him, and then to others, in the same way.

This is what I and others have been committed to for years. By God’s mercy, we have experienced a significant transformation in how we think and live. But we have just begun. There is much more that we have yet to learn. We have a lot yet to live before our vision and way connect at several points. But, nonetheless, we have made a commitment and, and by his strength, it will not be giving up or given away. We will make the sacrifice, we will believe (what to others seems like) the “unbelievable.” This commitment has been tested several times, and it will be tested several times more (I have no doubt).

Why can I say this. Two reasons. Prayer, study of Scripture, Church history, modern research, and life in and out of Christian Community have convinced me that such distinct way of life is not a luxury, but a necessity if there will there will be an authentic testimony to the love of God in our time and place. And that leads me to the second reason. The love of God. It is just too great to turn from. I realize that numbers have turned from his love, but if one commits to a lifestyle of “look[ing] at Him who is unseen” [Hebrews 12:27], he/she receives power beyond oneself to keep steadfast. And to turn from seeing Him …why? To see “what”? No. Let it be the other way around. Let those who have yet to see God’s great love, turn from what they are looking at for life, and look at our ‘way’, His way, … to Him. Certainly few things could fill us with more pleasure if the testimony of our lives be used of Father in this way. I know it would be pleasing to Him as well.

If such thoughts resonate in your soul as you finish reading this, do this now. Take a moment and pray, offering Him yourself without reserve. Then stay there before Him and wait until you sense it is time to seek out others who are share your commitment to look to Him, not just for a moment, but as a way of life.

^{^[1]} From, “Reflections on Acts 2:40-47”, Jordan Bajis

Lent

2006-03-02T17:22:00.000-05:00

Several good friends of mine have given things up for Lent in the past.

The question for me is, "What do I need to give up?"

Anyone have any real ideas?

I'll consdier the best response and do as it instructs.

Leave a comment...

JMak

Happy Chrismahanukwanza!

2006-01-09T02:23:00.000-05:00

An update on my New Year...

Since my Office vacation began on December 19th I have had three weeks to reflect and rejuvinate from my exhaustive semester here in Steamboat.

My vacation began promptly on the 19th so that some basic construction could occur within my apartment in the dormitory we live in. We had two doors cut through concrete walls that would change the overall layout of the Hall Director apartment. The new layout flows from my office (bordering the main entrance) through my apartment to my new master bedroom. It took awhile, but will be a nicer "home" for everyone who has my position in the future.

We began our vacation in Castle Rock, CO where my mom and step-father live. We spent through the 25th there and then went up to Parker, CO to celebrate with my dad and step-mother and her children. We had a great time at both places and gave Ethan a chance to see 2/3 of his grandparents this holiday season.

On the 27th we picked Jessica and levi (friends from Indiana) up at the airport and took them back to Steamboat to celebrate New Year's with us. They enjoyed a week's stay in Ski Town USA with us before heading back on the 3rd.

Overall, the Holiday went well despite the 20 inches of snow we received. It was restful and filled with few surprises.

I Ride The Bus

2005-09-16T03:36:00.000-05:00

I decided to explore my town a bit and see where I could get riding the free bus lines. To be honest, the real impetus was to get a combo meal at the local Wendy's Restaurant. Luckily though, the day was a beautiful 70 degrees and there was enough sunshine to cheer up about anyone.

While sitting at the bus stop (on a nice bench) I was joined by the second of many riders getting on at my stop. His name was Kelly, he was 22 years old, a Steamboat native, and he had Downs Syndrome.

At first, Kelly was not talkative. His behavior was somewhat anxious and he kept spying on me out of the corner of his right eye. He would retrieve things from his bag, in an effort to bring attention to himself, so I began to glance over occasionally just to let him know I was curious too.

He read the local paper for about 40 seconds, took a few pictures of the trees next to us, and kept muttering how late the bus always was. Kelly was humorous to watch. I thought I should break the ice and ask him something so I muttered, "Are you a photographer?" He responded, "Oh, yes! I take lots of pictures." It was then that his attention was diverted away by three attractive women arriving. The women proceeded to walk past the stop and into the Starbucks beside us, Kelly looked disappointed.

After finding out some details of Kelly's life, our bus arrived and we both boarded. Taking seats at separate ends of the bus, Kelly and I didn't speak again. I got off at my stop and watched the bus whir away into traffic. What a strange 20 minutes.

Upon my return to campus I mentioned my encounter to a co-worker. He was amused and shared with me that he knew Kelly and his parents. He shared the following story about Kelly which really made my chance encounter more rewarding:

He said that Kelly was a wrestler in highschool. He wrestled for Steamboat's team in a weight class that didn't have another wrestler in it. One meet, Kelly ironically had to face the county champion who had a perfect record (72 and 0). Before the match the coach from the opposing team took his top wrestler aside and informed him that he would wrestle Kelly (with Downs Syndrome) and that he should take it easy on him. Then, the match began...

This other wrestler, who would likely have gone undefeated all season, took his first and only loss that day. It was not necessarily the prowess of Kelly on the mat, but a young champion wrestler who decided that Kelly needed a win as much as he did that day and he handed Kelly the victory.

Never before had Kelly won, and afterward strutted around the gymnasium elated that he had beaten the top wrestler in the county. I am not sure it made the paper, but it certainly spread word of mouth around town. Kelly was a champion.

Not sure how this story meets you today. Not sure if you are proud of the champion wrestler, or upset because he gave a freebie to Kelly, exploiting him publicly. I was just thankful to meet some of Steamboat's History at the local bus stop today. You never know who you might see, if we only were privy to the stories all around us.

One Who Heals

2005-08-01T14:00:00.000-05:00

Recently in a graduate couseling course I read Henri Nouwen's book, "Wounded Healer" (1972). I was asked to remark on several key quotes and I came across a discovery I wanted to discuss. As I was writing my response paper I had a brief flashback to an early time in my life when my parents gave me a bookmark with my name, it's origin, and meaning printed on it.

My name is Jason, which translates from the Greek, "One Who Heals." At the time I wondered whether this prophetic bookmark was telling me I was going to be a doctor. Later, I began to realize a draw toward helping professions such as education, ministry, psychology, and medicine.

As I look back I wonder how much of our calling or vocation is determined by others expectations of us, outside sources and experiences, or even the meaning of our name. I wonder if anyone else out there has a similar story of their name aligning with their current calling or vocation (I am in Education now) and whether you have ever thought of this before.

Check out your name's definition and let me know what you think of my theory...

Transferable Skills

2005-07-30T14:05:00.000-05:00

I have the privilege of working with students at a public college in the western US. In my role where I live-in with students much of my private life is viewed by students. I am a Christian, and while I am somewhat limited in how much of my private life I share (e.g. faith) with students, it still remains the lens with which I view the world and more importantly mankind.

In my previous position I was able to have complete freedom in the area of sharing my faith with students. In fact, it was considered the most important tool for building community, counseling hurting students, modeling leadership, and casting a vision and strategy for the team. Now that it isn't part of my repertoire (at least verbally) what am I to use?

I wonder if there are certain skills or qualities from my faith that would transfer to this role of living-in with students? If I am limited in the scope and direction I can convey my faith, what skills and qualities, unique to being a person of faith, might still be useful?

Maybe several of you work in public settings where your faith-view is considered intolerant or unpopular. What are the key skills and qualities that transcend environment? How can a Christian make a difference in a public work setting without being hostile to the non-believer, and without shortselling his faith?

2005-07-09T23:36:00.000-05:00

Doing some updating to the blog, and major changes are coming in the future to the blog (stay tuned).

I may take a short break for a couple weeks while I move out of my house, check back later...

Jmak

The Passion, The Burden, The Calling

2005-07-04T12:53:00.000-05:00

My wife and I were posed with this question recently in one of our marriage devotional books: "What is your passion, your burden, and your calling?" Think about your answers for a minute. The adjectives seemed to describe similar things from different angles, but as I began to think more deeply about them I realized the following answers emerged...

For me, my passion (or what excites me) is my graduate studies. My burden (or what troubles me) is the affects of legalism in a Christian's life. My calling (or who God is leading me too) was tougher to figure out for me, in between jobs I had always used my ministry position (job) to define this. Of course this topic is probably best said in a blog all its own, but calling is tough for me to discern right now specifically, but I believe it to generally be college age students.

I began to wonder how my life might look if the three aforementioned areas all had the same answer? For instance: What if my passion was sharing God's word in a winsome way, my burden was for those who normally reject the word of God because it is not relevant, and my calling was to a secular public college campus? These three seem to line up really nicely. Almost like a no brainer? What do you do if there seems to be no link between the three?

Maybe finding this link (or trying to create it) is a pipe dream? Maybe this is middle earth's way of trying to make sense (purpose) out of the randomness of the faith journey? Maybe we just need to do the best with what we have? Can you pray for a burden? Can you pray for all three of these to line-up? Are the really effective Christian's the one's who have these three aligned? What are the implications of having or not having congruence in the areas above?

Any thoughts? Share your three as well so I know where you are coming from...

A welcome-mat for malicious programs

2005-06-08T01:18:00.000-05:00

OK, I realize it has been months since my last post, but I have been on the nether regions of this thing called cyberspace investigating several fascinating new ideas-- besides looking for a new job... The Perfect Blog, and how I can get one, and how to rid my laptop of all that is Microsoft (I loathe it to be honest).

There seems to be no way to live 'Microsofter' without going Linux or buying a Mac. so I have spent the better part of 90 man hours this month trying out Mozilla's Firefox browser and Thunderbird news reader and email client. These two stand alone pieces of software are the regal-beagle in my book. Never have I felt so trusting as well as excited to try out FREE programs in my life. They rule. Hey Mac.heads take a look see at Camino and let me know how it rates against whatever OSX offers.

Trying these two has single handedly thrust me into an 'open-source' love affair with millions of code writers worldwide. I have to thank my friend Eric for heading me in the right direction when we discussed (over IM) the difference between Blogspot's RSS/XML capabilities and Wordpress' PHP style. I still don't understand it all yet (which may be obvious for the PHP-saavy who just read this) but I aim to find out. The look alone is worth the jump (take a gander at Luke or Eric).

And some updates for hose of you nay-sayers... dream-squashers... cynics. I received my beautiful iPod that I teased you about in earlier posts. "Over 16,000 shipped!" they claim on their website. Music never sounded so good.

Well, just wanted to drop a quick note and let you know I am alive, well, and officially un-employed. I am heading to grad school (California) for 2 weeks and plan to blog-galore while I am there.

Until then... I think I am gong to name my next child 'mozilla' regardless of the gender.

JMAK
jmak@apu.edu (new email!!)

Ironic

2005-04-10T23:47:00.000-05:00

Just a comment on my last two posts. I posted a thought provoking picture with Mother Thersa about two weeks ago. It was in response to a book I am reading called Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger. This book outlines some of the causes of poverty in the world and how evangelicals seem to turn their head to the epidemic. While world poverty has improved in the last twenty years (since Sider first published his book) the new 20th Anniversary edition reminds that 34,000 children still die each year from starvation. While Starbucks is kept in business by overweight Americans (illustration mine).

My latest post featured a plee from *me* to click on a link and help me earn a new IPod from a website. I am 4 people shy of finishing the requirements and hopefully by May will be listening to the new white mp3 player. This post caused 8 friends to email me and another 85 to click on my link and check things out. One friend has even tried the contest for himself.

It is ironic the things that get our attention in this world? I have written 2 blogs about an IPod and have spent time online, as well as coaxing friends into helping me out and I have not attempted to help world poverty (let alone local poverty) at all.

What needs to happen is that UNICEF needs to team up with Apple and offer an IPod to everyone who gives $200 to disaster relief or sponsors a child. Seems silly, but why has one of my blogs gotten much attention while the other never got a response? Both were short and to the point, but one required something... it required me to care, not about what I would get but what I could give.

I hope I grow up one day and stop being a consumer and think about being a contributer?

Free Ipod?

2005-04-06T23:06:00.000-05:00

I recently popped onto freeipods.com to see if I could get into the action of this REAL giveaway of the hottest mp3 player for 3 years running. My assumptin was that it was a scam, but one weary night I gave in and committed to try at least. Once on the site things looked promising, it was a well designed site, nice index page, great links, fairly reputable looking (I'd shopped on worse!) So, I dove in. At first I did not understand the rules very well, it was laid out clearly, but I guess in my impatience I ordered from several companies and only needed to order from one (oops).

Anyways, after I received several of my products I was still unable to get me referrals to go to the site and try it out (you need 5 for th ipod, 8 for the flat screen TV). I am still at 1 referral who has signed up, but 11 more are looking into it. So, click on the link above and give it a try. If I get four more folks I'm a new ipod owner, you wanna be next?

JMAK

Poverty (part 1)

2005-04-02T00:30:00.000-05:00

On Being Black

2005-03-20T23:12:00.000-05:00

Originally written 02.18.05 as a graded assignment for a graduate class on diversity

Reflection
This topic, diversity, makes me a bit uncomfortable. I have been taught that it is a big deal. I was taught to tread lightly when speaking about it in the company of those who are white, and avoid it in the company of anyone who was a minority, especially anyone black. Now, this was not specifically said to me, but I saw it modeled and picked up on at a young age the inconsistency shown to people of color.

I never learned to speak of minorities without using labels, it seemed the easiest way to describe who I was speaking about, and if you said it to my family and extended family it carried with it an unspoken connotation of fear and lower socioeconomic status. Several examples of this come to mind as I journal today. My great grandmother, while driving us back home in East Grand Rapids, Michigan, would encourage us to count the black people we saw from our back seat vantage as she reached for the door locks and asked us to lock them as well. I was roughly ten at the time, and my sister eight, we thought it was like a road trip game and played willingly. She would tell us how the neighborhood she lived in, where my great grandfather had built their house and fifty others in the area was slowly becoming blacker and her fear was evident.

No one ever discussed this openly at family potlucks or anything, but we avoided contact with minorities like the plague. No minority ever attended our church, or friend circles. I remember my great uncle and aunt caused an uproar when, unable to have children, adopted two Korean toddlers. They were both University professors and provided a great home for the two children. We visited once and recently at a family reunion I saw these cousins and we laughed that it had been twenty years since we had seen one another. It was not by chance, my whole family wrote them off. They are known as the “black sheep” of our family.

Because of my heritage I often assume minorities keep away from me too. This bothered me for a long while. I guess I assume they see me as a white, educated, ignorant republican. These alone are damaging, but lump them all together with being a Christian and the stereotype is perfect; white, Anglo-Saxon protestant. Ironically, I have adopted to not use labels to be divisive anymore. I have many friends from different ethnic groups then myself.

From the above descriptions it is evident to me that I have an uphill battle to rightly discern what role diversity will play in my life. A brief definition for me would include being knowledgeable of the history of intolerance and oppression, compensating for these differences in your spheres of influence including your own friendships, and seeking to diversify environments for the sake of harmony. I will likely read this after the course and say something to the extent of, “What was I thinking, that does not even scratch the surface.” I feel like diversity is a serious issue that demands deep inquiry from anyone who seeks to be authentic in their role as a human and as a Christian. It really is a human rights issue. Everyone has to deal with it and everyone should.

The word is often overused in my circles and has come to represent some sort of extra knowledge that does not relate to the average white person, when in actuality it could be the impetus for a real breakthrough in many of their lives. For my life it has caused me to face old fears that have been left unexamined and therefore, unchecked in my psyche. To become a true contemplative Christian I need to interact with the idea of diversity and make it an active goal.

A Catalyst for Change
I have felt strongly for some time that one great contribution I will make in the field of student affairs is becoming a bridge between the homosexual community and Christian Higher Education, and eventually the Church. I cannot explain how I am going to do this yet, I just sense, as a Myers-Briggs intuitive-feeler would sense, that it will happen. The beliefs that seem to be hurdles for a person of faith tend to be one of behavior as well as original design. How can someone be a believer and have this sort of behavior as well? How can someone be created by a holy God with this affliction? These are key questions that I’ll need to examine. Similarly, how can believers continue to hate and ignore the community needs of those who are homosexual? If history is a guide it could be thirty years before reconciliation is made. I believe that if we are to use the bible to refute the homosexual position we are treading on thin ice. The Church is notorious for using slivers of scripture to defend their Doctrines. I also know that this refutation is fueled not by love, but by fear and hatred. That is how I know it isn’t authentic. I will have to get to the core of why I and Christians in general, protect the gospel like some commodity we own when it was intended as a free gift. These ideas are the points of tension in this area I’d like to enact change within.

Race as Social Construction
As I read the assigned pages and articles I was made even more aware of other’s perception of being white in America. The article: Waking up White: What it means to accept your legacy for better or for worse, reminded me of how I have come to embrace diversity. I believe that it was not until college that I began to unravel my past perceptions and form my own. Tragically, it was not until this Master’s class that I actually began asking the hard questions and reading challenging material. To be near the beginning of a transformation like this and have to write about it in this journal is difficult. I feel very out of touch with myself and will likely need time after this class to process what these readings are teaching me. However, to reflect on what I have learned is fairly easy. I am learning that the chasm between my perception of being white and others perception of me being white is vast. A lingering question is how much responsibility I need to take for these contrasting perceptions? Can changing my early formed attitudes of racial identity actually help the problem? As a white person I sometimes ask myself, “Is there a problem?” This question is answered more often, yes, then it is no, especially after reading these assignments.

Some notable things challenged or caught my attention from the readings. One of these was the statement, “…almost every student who enters a course that deals with the issue of race… enters the room on the first day with strong feelings” (Rothenberg, p. 1). I admit that I too came with a barrage of feelings and was unsure how this course would unravel the mess for me. I chuckled when I heard that APU recently added diversity as one of its core competencies for this program. Now, after interacting with my fellow students and experiencing the Museum of Tolerance I am glad they did. Several sentences later Rothenberg (2001) explains that if we don’t learn how to handle our feelings now about diversity the journey will not ever really begin (p. 1).

Marion or Bust
This last week I spent time re-connecting with my friends Nate and Latrese about my class and hopes I had about utilizing them as resources. I remember asking Nate about his role as a mentor to me. I felt uncomfortable as I reiterated my desired outcome for our time together. I told him that I wanted to be able to process my ignorance with him, discuss relevant writings on diversity, hear his struggle as a black man on a predominantly white Christian college campus, and somehow despite it all, continue to nurture our friendship. Even though I have been friends with Nate for years my request sounded like I was just interested in him for his skin color. He was gracious and said we needed to start somewhere. I hope to approach this next six weeks with good listening skills and an open heart. I am grateful that I am still here in Marion as this class unfolds instead of in a new position like I will be this July. I have a chance to walk this issue out amongst friends who understand my culture and the culture we work in, namely, Christian higher education.

I will close with an illustration of how I blundered in my journey of multicultural competence. One student who is a babysitter for my son is from Korean heritage. I was talking with her and another student while making copies one day. She began telling me about her recent engagement and how her father was supporting her financially in the decision to marry this summer. I asked her where her dad was from and she said Germany. I tried not to look surprised, because it was obvious that she was Korean, not German. It then dawned on me that she likely had a mother who was Korean then, so I asked her where her mother was from; thankfully she didn’t pick up on the need for me to make sense out of her ethnicity. She told me her mother was from Germany too, and without giving me time to ponder and question more with a silly comeback like, “Wait a minute, you are not fooling me, it is obvious you are Korean,” she kept talking dreamily of how wonderful her fiancé was. After she left, the other student, who was white, looked at me and said, “Didn’t you know she was adopted?” A bell went off in my head right then and reminded me how ignorant I can be sometimes.

I'd love to hear your journey or opinion on he issue, please reply via comment

References
Rothenberg, P. (2001). Race, class, and gender in the United States. (fifth ed.). Worth Publishers. New York, NY

Dualistic Thinking

2005-03-20T23:00:00.000-05:00

My comments on Rudy Olivo's posting on sing-songy smurfarrific Christians

Thanks Rudy for bringing up the discussion I need to revisit from time to time. For me, my Christianty is a tension (or imposter identity) I bring out when I am around Christians. I have another guy I bring out around worldly folks, and I must admit that I like him better, he is more like William Wallace, Brennan Manning... Russell Crowe?

The imposter (on one side) and the cynic (on the other side) seem to be the two sides of the pendulum I swing between in my journey as a maturing believer. Not sure why this happens, but in my environment (all Christian young people, and Boomer Christians) I find the imposter-guy readily on my tongue for a quick quip during bible study, spontaneous prayer moments, and how-ya-doing dude greetings to every passerby on the sidewalk. He is a fake and pretty much runs my life (even my inner life sometimes).

The cynic is much more refreshing [irony mine] and I admit, he rarely comes out; only when I want to "connect" with a college student, or stumble upon some great spiritual breakthrough or truth (only to be stifled by the imposter again).

This dualism (made light of here for purposes of making my point) was brought painfully to my attention during the scene in Two Towers where Gollum/Smeagol interract at a reflective moonlit pool while Sam and Frodo slept. Remember this scene, it was breathtaking for me. Rent the movie (even just for this scene).

Anyway, not sure which guy will win out, but I am NOT convinced the imposter is truly Godly, and I am unsure whether the cynic will ever experience joy (at least not around Christians).

Anyone care to sort out this mess for me (am I being to dualistic?)

jmak

On Blogging Effectively

2005-03-16T23:14:00.000-05:00

I have read a ton of blogs lately. Well, not read them thouroughly, but have read them like you would corelary reading for a college class, or a billboard as you drive by on the highway, something like that. Anyway, below are some principles I have observed that seem to work for the better blogs out there. If you disagree or would like to add your two cents, leave a comment.

"The Medium Is The Message"
In this image driven culture it is important that your blog looks attractive. It does not seem to matter as much that the content is post-worthy as long as the layout is easy on the eyes and invites the reader to look around a bit.

"Clever Wording Wins Respect"
Blogs that are just thrown up in a *rant* style where the author is really too passionate and close to the issue to write well doesn't commuicate the passion the author is feeling. In fact, these type of blogs come across like a soapbox (and never use the word soapbox, please buy a thesaurus). The blogs worth reading are the ones where the author writes a first draft and then lets it marinate for a few days (or at least hours). Great writers (like my friend Dave Drury or Eric Nentrup) probably have a file with several ideas that are marinating and can pull one out in a pinch and put form to it, like a lump of clay, when they need to. And to be considered worth the weekly read you really need to expand your vocabulary a bit. One hint: use microsoft Word to compose your draft and when you read through it and see an oridnary word that could use some sprucing up, right-click on it and scroll down to synonym/thesaurus and a list of neato substitute words appear for the picking, try it. Or, just make up a big word, most people will believe you know what you are saying, this works for most pastors.

"Pace Yourself"
If you find yourself posting daily to your blog please stop. This is too often and nobody has anything good to say everyday not even you (no offense). If you publish daily your style will begin to change from decent columnist to teenage gossip column. Do you really want to read my feelings about why I chose a certain food for lunch today? Well, I don't want to read your feelings on the subject either. Blogging is best crafted seasonally. Which means, wait until a few days pass and you have gained perspective on a series of events, reflective bloggers are better than reactive ones.

"Brevity is the Soul of Wit"
I can look at a blog and if I have to scroll down-arrow twice on my browser it is to long for me to read. I have resisted reading several close friends blogs (maybe this one?) because they cannot make their point in three paragraphs or less. If you force yourself to this size you find you will begin to write better. I learned this from a professor of mine on college.

"Learn the Basic HTML Tags"
If you have no idea what I am talking about keep reading, otherwise skip ahead. HTML is the basic "coding" that most webpages are written in. HTML allows us to see things in bold or italics or underlined or even linked leading to another website. When you begin to use these tags embedded into your blogs they make you appear like you have earned the right to post using the web, you understand the language. It is the same respect you show while visiting another country, you learn to ask "where is the bathroom" so you don't end up pissing out back in the woods. Try visiting here for some help. Otherwise, ask a friend who is between 13-22 (or an older guy who likes Macs) they can likley help. When you have perfected HTML, there are several new generations of languages that will rock your world, look into them.

"Never use Internet Explorer"
Ok, this is a low-blow, but the best way to enjoy the web and your favorite blogs is not with IE. It's bulky, slow, territorial, and some conspiracy theorsists believe it is a sign of the end times. (every windows PC comes packaged with it?) Anyway, try out FireFox as an alternative browser, or better yet buy a MAC. You'll fall in love with browsing all over again.

Any Other Thoughts?

Final Days

2005-02-23T15:14:00.000-05:00

This is a fluid list of things "I hope happen" in my final days before I leave Marion, Indiana; a place I have called home since 1993:

Go to an Indiana Pacer's basketball game (Reggie Miller's last season)
Eat dinner with President Jim Barnes & Wife
Pee off of the roof of the CM building
Speak once in Chapel
Be a rock star and perfom at the Crema concert night
Care to Suggest others for me? (if they are reasonable I'll do them since oyu can't!)

Fetzer and Feltzy

2005-02-23T14:34:00.000-05:00

Ever lose touch with some good friends and then had both of them pop-up on your radar in the same week? It happened to me this week when two old college buddies got in touch with me from out of the blue.

Jeff (Fetzer) Cobb and Jason (Feltzy) Feltz got in touch with me over the phone this week. It is another one of the items on my "Final Days" checklist of stuff I hope happens before I leave Marion, Indiana.

These two guys are likley my closest two friends from college and tragically I haven't kept in touch with either of them very well. As a tribute, here is the story of how I met each of them:

FETZER was a squirrely middle schooler who rode my bus to the local Crestwood Middle School in Kentwood, Michigan. I did not remember him even though he lived two blocks from me in our neighborhood. I must have made an impression though because one day he recognized me in our 8th grade History class and struck up a conversation.

SOME BACKGROUND seems important here. I had just moved with my newly divorced mother and little sister from eastern Denver, Colorado where I was born and raised. From a middle class family I came to the new middle school without a friend and began performing poorly in school and got in with the wrong crowd--the "stoners" in middle school who seemed to take anyone in their group. Wether it was a dare or just plain compassion, Fetz talked to me in History one day.

HISTORY class was a joke. Well, at least I thought it was and so I spent several sessions just talking to Fetz in the back of the room during lectures. One day I remember the teacher saying something about catching Aids off of a door handle and Fetz and I lost it in the back of the room. I am not sure what about the discussion was so funny, but we couldn't contain ourselves. We were both thrown out of the classroom and made to sit in the hall. Thus would begin a long history of the adventures of Jeff and Jason (his name is mentioned first because he was the most notorious of the two of us,... regardless of what his Mom says.)

THE INVITE I got later in the year was to visit Fetz's home church (Kentwood Community) where te youth group was huge (100+). I was grateful and asked my mom. She was hesitant and had to make sure this "Wesleyan" church wouldn't tarnish my Dutch heritage. It was here that I came to understand a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and later asked him to be my personal Savior. A decision that has impacted my life more than any other.

THE INTERVENTION came well into our highschool career. Jeff and I had been friends through thick and thin (and lots of Mountain Dew). But my mother (newly married now) was growing skeptical of Fetz and his lassaiz faire attitude toward "the disciplined way" of good Christian boys. So, one day she gave me the ultimatum: I had to dissolve my freindship with Jeff and vow not to see him anymore. No choice, just a mandate-- or else! I remember telling him one day in the church parking lot. We both cried, but knew somehow we would find away around this road block.

COLLEGE came and he went to the local Community College for a year and then went to Indiana Wesleyan. I went to the appropriate Reformed school of the elect, Hope College (not Calvin). We both changed so much and rarely saw one another. After two years at Hope I contacted Fetz one day to see how he was doing. Our talk ended with him convincing me to fill out an application to transfer. The next year I was attending IWU.

FELTZ and I met when I transfered to IWU the fall of 1993. We both lived in Williams Hall (the last great structure on IWU's campus). I was an RA at Hope and wanted to continue this ministry while at IWU. The RD wouldn't hire a new guy, so he asked me if I wanted to be Hall President instead. I thought this sounded fun and said yes. Unknown to me was that Jason Feltz (returning leader) was hoping to be Hall President too. I didn't know him, but learned right away that the RD had set us both up for an awkward situation. Jason (with his gracious spirit and love for Williams Hall) resigned to be the Vice President that year and the two of us worked closely on RHA starting many new traditions and setting a vision of community for that hall.

RA HIRING was that spring of 1994 and Jason and I both wanted to be RA's in our beloved hall. Jason got to stay, but I was shipped out to the apartment staff and spent a year in Phillippe Court with the psycho unit from Hell. Jason and I used our experience that year and decided to appply for ARD of Williams our last year. I was given the job and Jason stayed on staff as RA. By this time we both joked about the back and forth competition we had for the same positions. It became funny instead of a source of tension to us.

THE DREAM of both of us was to be RD's, but Jason was hired as Williams Hall's last RD while I worked at Admissions, unable to get an RD job. The joke had emerged again, but this time we were proud of each other's accomplishments and were just happy to be working near one another.

WHEN I WAS MARRIED the summer of 1996 Feltz and Fetzer both stood up with me at my wedding. They have been my closest friends throughout life and I am proud of each of them. I am grateful for their modeling in my life and would not be the man that I am today if it were not for them. Love you guys!

~Jmak

Mortality

2005-02-13T23:13:00.000-05:00

My father called me Thursday from a hospital in Denver, Colorado. I was surprised to hear from him since he was on vacation. His vacation was cut short because of mysterious pains he was having in his chest, so he went to the ER. He had my attention now and I figured everything was cool since he was calling me himself and sounded fine. But what he told me next sent fear through my spine, the kind of fear you get moments after a startling scene in a scary movie, the kind of fear you have after waking up from an out of control dream that left you in a cold sweat. Ever had that feeling?

My dad was admitted to the ER and they couldn't discover the source of his pains. They were worried about his heart though, see, about ten years ago when he was 52 my father suffered a severe heart attack. The incident led him to quad-bypass surgery which would drastically alter his life from then on. Usually, if you make it eight years after heart surgery you are in the clear so to speak. Not that you aren't still cautious of heart related things, but you have a great chance of long life if the eight year mark is passed. Here we were at ten and he is back in the hospital with what appears to be heart related pains.

The truth, after multiple MRI's and stress tests, was that my dad's gall bladder was bad, which in turn aggravated his liver, which in turn aggravated his heart and made his MRI look bad. It was imperative that this 62 year old get surgery, fast. Each step of the process was critical, even though this type of surgery is so common and rarely serious. I spoke with him on several occasions and each time he sounded groggy and depressed. I wondered if he would make it through this procedure.

The entire time between calls I wrestled with the fragilness of life. What if my dad died on the table? What if he emerged, but was never the same physically? What if I am prone to the poor heart problems of my grandfather, uncle, and father? I admit, I began to think more about myself than my poor father on the eve of his surgery. What a weekend.

My father made it through surgery well, and I spoke to him Sunday afternoon. He sounded better, but had endured great pain through stress tests, allergic reactions and gall stones. He is a fragile man at a young age, will this be my fate too?

Each of us considers his own mortality at times in his life. Whether it is during a movie, watching a real accident occur, or having a loved one die the thoughts can paralyze. As a 32 year old I have a reckless view on mortality; I don't fear death and even mock it at times. I have never had any near-death experiences and have only buried grandparents, not a parent or sibling or child or spouse. But this event shook me. I am not sure what ramifications this "scare" will have on me this coming week?

What perceptions do you have on death right now? If you're like me, you don't ever think about it. Tomorrow, a friend of mine, Tarah, will address the student body here at the University I work at and tell her story of how her husband (of 1 year) died on the table at the hospital both of them worked at as health professionals. Her story is gut wrenching and unbelievable, wrought with emotional pain so twisted that it has wrapped itself around everything she is. I got a taste of that this weekend.

Take a moment and be honest about mortality, is your view one that claims, "Life is short, so play hard." Or even, "I have so long, why worry about that?" Whatever your philosophy, you will die one day in this flesh. How do you feel about that?

"Quitting Your Job"

2005-02-06T16:18:00.000-05:00

This month is likely going to be the busiest I have ever had. That is my disclaimer to my good friends who will not hear from me because I am on the job hunt. Along with millions of migrating Americans, I too am making a move in my career. Won't bore you with the details, but here are a few strategies that have helped me make the transition:

> Do something new through your position the last 4 months you hold it. It is easy to see the end so why not capitalize on the last 4 months by doing a new thing, it will look good on a resume and will refresh your perspective for the transition ahead-- get your head out of your current situation. Ideas include: Pastor (go to a differing church occasionally), Education (mentor a freshman student), Politics (get a friend in the Green party). I started 3 new student groups, and decided to volunteer for our multicultural student affairs office (great stuff).

> Ask your biggest critic to offer some parting advice for you as you transition, and extract as much truth out of it as possible for 1 night, then burn the notes and take only the things you decide are worth changing. I did this with an administrator in my department, it was useful for me and allowed them to heal from some hurts they had against me.

> Renew an old friendship. While I am beginning to do this, it helps refresh me and remind me there are people who love me for me, they remember the good times, and the good times will come again.

> If married, involve your spouse in the search. It has helped my wife to prepare for the move and get excited about the possibilities. If you are not married, drop a weekly email to some trusted friends about your search update, it will often yield some great advice.

> Recognize any issues you have with your current employer (supervision, direction, choices they have made, etc...) They are likely to re-emerge as you move to another employer. My issues have changed very little and I have seen them emerge in 3 different positions, you'd think I would learn. Don't let the necessity of getting a job cause you to settle for the same environment that rubs you the wrong way--unless you are ready to deal with it and come to peace with it.

> If your issues are certain people, never talk about them to others, especially co-workers. Your most trusted co-worker might accidently share with their trusted friend and now, too many people know. When that person finds out how you really feel about them it will hurt and you may not be represented acurately. Best to go to the person or keep the comments to your diary (plus it's gossip).

> Use your last months to thank those who have invested in you the last (however many) years. I have begun doing this, and you would be surprised at how many people didn't know they had impacted me or have never had someone take the time to reflect by thanking them. Good advice anywhere you are.

OK, I have lot's of other advice, but everyone's situation is different, so be uniquely you. Hope these help, please respond with your comments, I'd benefit from them.

Luke Middleton's Writing P l a y g r o u n d: Pastoral poker

2005-02-01T15:46:00.000-05:00

Guest columnist this week: Luke Middleton (old friend)

Sick As A Dog

2005-01-16T21:55:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting in front of my wood burning stove on a Sunday night sweating off a cold I've had for days. The Colts just got outplayed in round one of the playoffs, loosing to the Patriots 20-3 in what many will call Payton's worst game of the year. For the record, it wasn't his fault, four passes were dropped by receivers and their defensive strategy wasn't wise enought to repel the Pats offense. So much for a nice Sunday of great football, unless your from the Northeast.

It's official: almost all of my friends have a blog now. I won't offer any wisecracks about web-blogs because I have my own (since 10/04), but it's ironic that late twenty-somethings love these things. All of us (Nentrup, Drury, Bethay, Makowsky) never get a word in edgewise when were together, always so much to say--now we can read it all in one sitting... I miss you guys.

Power Has Returned

2005-01-14T22:54:00.000-05:00

From January 5-10 much of Central Indiana was without power following damage from an ice storm that hit the area after New Years. My wife and son and I spent the 5 nights in sevreal dorms on campus (well I spent 2 nights in the house in 30 degree temps because I like my pillow).

On top of that, my leadership staff arrived the 7th and I was in full-swing by the 8th with my job here at IWU. We had students arriving the 10th and were crossing our fingers power would be restored before the mass of students arrived the 11th. Luckily, power was restored at 630pm on the 10th and you would have thought it was a New Year's celebration. Everyone was hugging and yelling and singing. We really do need our electricity in this electronic age.

Update: Christmas was a blast. 2 nights in Illinois with Mel's family and 5 nights in Minneapolis with my sister. Followed by 5 nights with the Cnadian relatives visiting us in Marion for New Year's. What a great time. This spring we are job hunting, we'll keep you posted on where we end up moving. Until then... jmak

Creating A Ministry Strategy

2004-12-07T11:56:00.000-05:00

Note: >>> A ministry strategy is a series of values important to you (example: Adventurer), what roles/areas and how they will influence (example: Father), and some action steps to get there (example: Take my son out camping once a month). It also helps to get very specific when dealing with your role as RA or other leader, the more specific the better, I'm hoping we can use these to get to know one another better over the next year. ~jason

Example Ministry Strategy
submitted by Jason Makowsky, Fall 2002

Mission Statement…
In my role as a Resident Director I will model a life that is passionately growing in God, model a marriage that is affectionate and authentic, model a ministry that is intentional and Spirit lead and model a work ethic that is above reproach and guided by creativity.

Core Roles…
The following “core roles” are my life areas that I live out my mission statement. I have listed them here to give context to my life, what it is about ad what is important to me.

Adventurer
Living a life of adventure taps into the passion that makes a man.
“The Spiritual life cannot be made suburban. It is always frontier, and we who live in it must accept it and even rejoice that it remains untamed.” - Howard Macey

Colleague
Those relationships that exist within my workplace or ministries.
“Faith is lived out in Community.” - Dr. Judy Huffman

Disciple
That relationship with my Heavenly Father, becoming like His Son.
“The place that God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet” - Frederick Buechner

Family Member
Those relationships within my extended family.
“Over 50% of my extended family members are unsaved, living a life of faith in front of them is so important.” – Jason Makowsky

Friend
Those relationships with brothers and sisters in Christ I am closest to.
“Synergy: one plus one plus one is equal to more than three” - Matthew 4:19,20 and Matthew 28:19,20

Learner
That part of me that longs to take in new information.
“Add to your faith, knowledge…”

Temple
The focus on my health, habits and stewardship of my body.
“Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit…”

Husband/Father

The relationships I have with my wife and son.

“One’s primary ministry is to his family…”

Personal Goals…

A. To live in alignment with my Core Roles

□ Maintain a weekly accountability relationship with Paul Stonehouse directly focusing on these roles stability.

□ Through a weekly campus bible study I want to focus on the discipline of prayer.

□ I will learn and practice skills in sharing my faith with non-believers. And attempt on two occasions this semester to share my faith, processing the experience with my accountability partner.

B. To become a husband who knows and nourishes my wife’s needs.

□ Practice healthy boundaries by making Wednesday our date night.

□ Be the leader by initiating our regular devotion times.

□ Find out what her goals are and champion them.

□ Improve my punctuality, an area I need growth in.

□ Having given up cable, devote the time each evening to prayer, walking, talking and reading with my wife between 5-9pm.

Professional Goals…

A. To be a disciplined Student Development Professional.

□ Strive to live according to the “weekly” schedule I have proposed.

□ Prepare for every one-on-one with my student leadership setting vision for this development time.

□ View each student interaction as a time of ministry and encouragement.

□ Be faithful in the small things.

□ Arrive early to meetings when I can to prepare mentally.

□ Work with Jana Day to stay true to my Mission Statement.

□ Never plan an event or interaction without reviewing this strategy.

B. To be a relational Student Development Professional.

□ Use my One-on-one times with student leadership to build an open and trusting relationship.

□ Use my “Office” times to pursue residents, cultivating a caring, environment that builds trust.

□ Planning programs and small “by invitation only” events that build connectivity and community among residents, such as my Monday night “Sexual Man” group or small group get-togethers in my apartment.

□ Have each RD (and their spouse) over one at a time at least once a semester to get to know them personally.

□ Look for ways to get involved in the larger campus community.

Other Main Areas of the Position and Strategies to Develop Them

Community Center Front Desk…

A. Building Community

□ Have each Desk Worker be responsible for filling the community center on their shift, inviting friends or study groups.

□ Hire a desk manager that is a visionary who can also motivate people to accomplish the smaller parts of the job.

□ Regularly meet with this manager to cast vision on new programming the desk can do.

□ Re-design the community center, focusing on student needs in the apartments, not re-creating the dorm lobby concept.

□ Re-work the RA expectations and other leadership expectations to compliment each others ministries, not overlap or compete with each others ministries.

□ Post office hours and encourage students to come see me during these times.

□ Encourage other events or groups to use the community center.

Apartment RHA

A. Structure

□ Redesign what the structure of the apartment RHA looks like to meet upperclassmen needs. More of a “council” format.

□ Re-name the Apartment RHA yearly as part of the vision casting meeting at the beginning of each year, seeking student input, decision making and ownership.

□ Seek to get better representation within each apartment area.

B. Format

□ Re-define what sort of events this new “council” will work on, reflecting needs of upperclassmen.

□ Re-define what business meetings look like, focusing on empowering and developing participants, not just delegating tasks or framing events.

□ Seek to integrate a co-ed model into the “council” where we educate residents to live appropriately in a co-ed environment.

Other Leadership in Apartments

A. Spiritual Life Coordinator

□ Similar to the Hall Chaplain position, this person sets vision for spiritual programming (outside of what RA’s do) with all the apartments.

□ They work in conjunction with the spiritual “unit-reps” to carry out their vision and mission for the year.

□ They are part of the executive council (see below).

B. Unit-Representatives (rep’s)

□ Represent a unit or multiple units.

□ Two types: Spiritual and Administrative

□ Spiritual aid SLC and RA’s in spiritual programming

□ Administrative aid RA’s and RD in communication issues

College Reflections

2004-11-22T13:47:00.000-05:00

Originally Entitled: Purpose for the Journey
Submitted by Jason Makowsky
Indiana Wesleyan University

In partial fulfillment of the requirements for CSA552 Dr. Carol Lundberg 09/10/04

Purpose for the Journey
There was a sense of excitement as our class shared a visual representation of this assignment during our course time this summer. I had recorded the details of this assignment before many times, but not like now, knowing I would need to analyze it in a final paper citing theorists who explain the phases I passed through as my college years unfolded. This assignment will add a special element of purpose for writing my facts down. The purpose I refer to here not only speaks to the theorists who will illuminate these stages, but also to my quest for purpose during this phase of my life.

Characterizing myself before college would simply be to say I was sheltered, maybe even a wallflower of sorts. I was raised in a sheltered home, with a religious upbringing despite divorced parents. I sought acceptance from others, especially male role models whom I loyally followed. Thankfully, I found the company of positive influences. Therefore, I entered college like most freshman, seeking friends who accepted me. I even remember a leadership assessment I took right before entering college, its discovery: I was a natural born follower. My years before and during my first year of college follow what Perry would call a dualistic stage of development. My desire to major in mathematics, and later religion were fueled by a right and wrong view of the world. I was taught that my Christian heritage was the right way and others were wrong, I came to appreciate mathematics for the same reason, it offered concrete solutions that were either right or wrong. I was a student who very much followed what I was told to do. The choice to choose a religious college was based on this phase or position of dualism as well.

I chose to go to the most expensive religious college I could get into, unlike my friends who went to State schools. This ended up being my denominational college, and from a lower-middle class family I was provided with much financial aid. My time in college was very influential and can be explained best by four friends I met while attending.

My decision to pursue Mathematics as a major introduced me to a good friend named Jo. She was also very active in Inter Varsity as well as the music groups on campus. We had almost every class together and she introduced me to all the active Christians. I also met Lee, who was my RA in college. He got along with everyone and earned the respect of a very diverse dormitory wing of students that he supervised. He told me my first week that he thought I could be an RA next year because I seemed to get along well with everyone. His encouragement prompted me to apply that spring to replace him when he left. He modeled how to empower someone by bringing out their strengths. My roommate Rob probably spoke into my life more than anyone. It was more than the fact we shared everything from clothes to cologne; he had magnetism that everyone was drawn to, especially the ladies. He was the most eligible bachelor on campus and that made me popular. He could talk to anyone and make the conversation deep. I watched Rob and emulated his skills in connecting with people. I also randomly attended a church in the area and met a college pastor named Dave. He immediately took an interest in my spiritual journey and became a mentor to me. I choose these four people because they also personify the four areas of vocation I considered throughout my college years, music, student affairs, counseling and ministry. My journey was somewhat reflected in my friendships with them. However, more than vocation, they each were with me during shaping moments in my college career.

My freshman year I rushed and pledged a fraternity on campus with seven other guys in my dormitory wing, which included my roommate Rob. The fraternity was a terrific experience that single-handedly brought me out of my shell and forced me to do things that were out of my comfort zone. Schlossberg characterizes this as a transition (Evans et al, 1998), in that it changed my relationships and daily life significantly. I chose to limit my peer group to those in the fraternity, began attending its events and assumed my social status in light of my belonging to its membership. It also introduced me to temptations I had never experienced before and left me unsupported in making positive choices. The fraternity is also where I began to open my mind to other points of view and behaviors. This is characteristic of Perry’s multiplicity position (Evans et al, 1998). I look back now upon my time in the fraternity with mixed feelings, however, I see how it shaped my development.

My college pastor Dave met with me several times before I pledged the fraternity and cautioned me to the perils of joining such an organization. I dismissed his fears as one-sided, but agreed to meet with him regularly whether I joined or not. This is again a reflection of my transition from following what a positive male role model would say (Perry’s dualism) to disagreeing while maintaining my own diverse view (Perry’s multiplicity). While Dave was influential, he moved my sophomore year, but he planted a seed that eventually challenged me to transfer after my second year.

My sophomore year I became an RA in my dormitory. My previous RA, Lee, had prepared me for the job and I found an eclectic group of friends on this coed staff. I encountered such a variety of student interactions that year I decided I would be an RA every year I was able, I loved it. I realized that I had stumbled upon an area of fit for me and was grateful to Lee for his prompting. This variety was helpful for me as I phased into Perry’s multiplicity of thinking. The diverse relationships I encountered and desire to be a leader among my peers transitioned me, not just into thinking more openly, but also believing differently. This is similar to someone who is phasing past a stage five in Perry’s model. My cognitive development (thinking) was influencing my ethical development (believing).

My friend Jo and the rest of our Chapel Choir toured Europe the summer after my sophomore year. The experience opened my eyes and was deeply moving. I had so much time to think and process during that trip that I realized I did not know who I was. I went to college to become someone and after two years had become someone other than myself. It was very disturbing as I looked back upon half of my college career and had compromised beliefs and behaviors I had cherished growing up. Upon my return, I decided to quietly transfer over the summer and begin anew at another school. I also sensed a peace in my prayer time about changing while this dissonance ruled in my mind; though I honestly wondered if I was running. This running sent me back to a more dualistic thinking phase which Perry’s model allows for as one retreats in their cognitive development (Evans et al, 1998), or at least moves into a resting position, or temporize (Perry, 1968) as they try to understand experiences. Maybe transferring was a chance for me to rest in my development and chew on these new experiences.

I remember an assignment I had in an education class where we each had to craft a mask from materials the professor had provided and then explain how the mask represented us. My mask was colorful and flamboyant, but I now doubted if the mask was ever the real me.
After transferring, I fine-tuned my vocation and focused on some other areas of my life, such as a different major and a less narrow peer group. This transition of independence was important because I made a decision that would affect my friendships, time commitment and financial resources. I broadened my support network and was now confident, social and easily fit in with all groups on campus. My desire for acceptance disappeared and I became focused on pleasing God with my life. This led to a series of shaping moments that caused me to “grow up” faster than I had planned.

The year I transferred, my father had a massive heart attack at the age of fifty two. He was young, so I thought, "would I need to worry about my health now?" I wrestled with my fleeting youth and talked to my father often. Our relationship grew and I remember him saying he thought me a spiritual mentor to him. I had become to him what I always desired him to be with me. This was a significant role transition for me in two ways: I had to consider the adult issues of mortality as well as the reversal of seeing my parents as leaders. I was able to move through this transition with success as I took responsibility for my health and also the role I would play in my father’s life from henceforth. I viewed both of these lessons as assets in my new ability to manage my life on my own.

Later that year, I got involved with some of the leaders of a local large church college group. After serving with this team and seeing God bless our ministry, several of us considered dropping out of college and planting a church out east. I was dating my wife at this time and we both spoke to our parents about the real possibility of this option. We decided to finish our degrees as several good friends left and pursued this dream. This again illustrates the ownership I had taken with my life direction as I considered what life would look like without college as a backdrop.

Looking back, college changed me drastically. As I examined the theories of Schlossberg and Perry I have come to understand my development in a new scope. My earliest college days were characterized by dualism of thought, but became open to a multiplicity of ideas as new people and schemas presented themselves. My thinking was forced to change and in turn my beliefs were challenged to change as well. Perry (1981) stated, “It is in one’s way of affirming Commitments that one finds at last the elusive sense of ‘identity’ one has searched for elsewhere” (p. 97). My choices have brought me on a journey of cognitive growth throughout college that appears to be linear, although, Perry’s model does not specify one must move through these phases in any order. Similarly, Schlossberg’s Transitions model has proved to be a fine framing tool to examine the “shaping moments” referred to earlier. I have come to see each of these moments more deeply for what was occurring within me and around me while they transpired. My decisions to pledge a fraternity, transfer to another school and possibly plant a church were integral to my current identity. They have caused me to grow. Schlossberg asserts that, “Transitions may lead to growth, but decline is also a possible outcome, and many transitions may be viewed with ambivalence by the individuals experiencing them” (Evans et al., p. 112). I admit that while I was moving-into and through a transition I was sometimes upset by them, but by the time I was moving-out of a transition I understood its usefulness to my development. I believe Schlossberg would consider this appraisal part of how I came to understand or cope with my transitions.

In retrospect, this assignment was very enlightening and caused me to seek even more theorists from the text as I sought to put meaning to my college years.

References

Evans, N., Forney, D. & Guido-DiBrito, F. (1998). Student Development in College: Theory, Research and Practice (pp. 107-145). San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Perry, W.G., Jr. (1981). Cognitive and ethical growth: The making of meaning. In A.W. Chickering & Associates, The modern American college: Responding to the new realities of diverse students and a changing society (pp. 76-116). San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Perry, W.G., Jr. (1968). Forms of intellectual and ethical development in the college years: A scheme. New York: Holt, Rhinehart & Winston.

Women Pastors, Who Needs 'Em?

2004-11-22T13:34:00.000-05:00

Wesleyans need to quitsending daughters to the youth conventions

One of the great strengths of my denomination is its youth conventions. Thousands of youth gather for motivation, to make deeper commitments and to hear a challenge to respond to God’s call to the ordained ministry. The effect of these conventions on my denomination is immeasurable—in training church leaders, and calling out the next generation of church planters, pastors, and denominational leaders.But we have a big problem. Traditionally one service of these conventions is dedicated to “the call” to full time ordained ministry. Usually young people are asked to listen to God’s voice to discern if they believe God is calling them to His full time ministry. They are asked to come forward and take a stand, or to take some other action testifying to their call to the ministry.Well, that’s not the real problem. Here’s the real problem: Since my denomination approves the ordination of women, young women go forward in these meetings too. Thus we wind up with a number of women who have heard God’s call to the ministry, gone forward to confirm it, testify to their call to their friends and parents, then go off to our colleges and universities to train for the ministry. I teach these women in my classes—and they are gifted, bright, talented, and have a great heart for ministry and a clear understanding of their call. Perhaps one of them is your daughter or grand-daughter. You know how gifted she is, and you know that she feels clearly called to the ministry.So, what’s the problem?

Here’s the problem: when your daughter graduates and starts seeking a staff or solo pastorate in her home denomination—the Wesleyan Church—she will have a much harder time finding a place to fulfill her calling than my male students will have. In fact, my mediocre male students can get a job faster than the finest of my women students. No, that’s not right—my bottom-of-the-barrel male students can even get jobs faster than the very best women. Most pastors simply prefer male ministers—so do many church boards. Though my own denomination allows women to be ordained, and its leaders are significantly pro-women, people can still survive in my denomination yet passive block women from ever fulfilling their calling. It’s like a pocket veto—they simply do not respond and hope “the problem” will go away. Indeed a popular para-church organization related to my denomination still has no women itinerant speaker—at least one who speaks to whole churches and not merely “women’s retreats” or “with her husband.”

People who quietly resist women in ministry survive—even thrive—in my denomination and are treated as if their view is merely a matter of personal opinion not a denominational value. Women in ministry say there are even District Superintendents who have actively spoken against women in spiritual authority and they get away with it. We have a high-level official in one of our denomination’s colleges who has made statements apposing women in ministry in educational forums he survives as if it is his right to a matter of personal interpretation of the Bible. And we apparently (if you believe the women working for them) have at least a few larger church pastors who think women can serve on staff, or with children or youth, but not as the lead spiritual authority in a church. Ever. When I wrote the first draft of this article I addressed it to my own denomination. Since then I have received an outpouring of reports describing an almost identical situation among the Nazarene and Free Methodist churches too—apparently the entire holiness movement—a movement that exploded under women pastors—has the same problem. Why? Is the holiness movement Baptist or Wesleyan?Thus, while I am in a holiness denomination that “permits” women to be ordained, it means little since they hardly can get a place to serve. This is your daughter I’m talking about.

While there are hundreds of “supporters” of women in ministry in my denomination, most of them are moderate supporters—they would not go so far as to reprimand a DS woman-blocker, or reprimand a large church pastor. So, when it comes right down to it, they treat all this like it is a matter of personal opinion not a church stand. Supporters who aren’t willing to make hard decisions are not supporters at all but merely politicians.So this is why I think Wesleyan folk should quit sending their daughters to the youth conventions. If you let them go they’ll be challenged to hear God call them to the ordained ministry, and they’ll answer, then they’ll come to my school or one of the other Wesleyan schools and they’ll get a degree in ministry thinking God and the church was serious when it challenged them to “listen for the call.” Then they’ll graduate from college or seminary and start looking for a church in the denomination that encouraged them to respond—and they’ll get that email back from the DS saying, “I’m sorry, I really have nothing for you.” Or more likely no email response at all (and the fellow right next to them in class has gotten three already from the same DS). So your called daughter or granddaughter will be frustrated. She will wonder why God called her and the church encouraged her so she earned her ministry degree but now there is not a DS or church willing to let her fulfill her calling while she watches the male students one by one get the peachy jobs until even the marginal males are all placed.

So what should your daughter do? She should fulfill her calling I say. Which means find a denomination that will let her minister. In my neck of the woods right now that is the United Methodist Church. I hate to send off our “best and brightest” to another denomination but that’s better than sending them to Taco Bell. Essentially this means the daughters you’re sending to the youth conventions are likely to wind up ministers in another denomination. So quit sending them! Then you can keep them Wesleyans.

_________________________________

Of course there is another answer to this problem isn’t there? We could spot the DSs, pastors , educational leaders and para-church organizations who quietly resist women in ministry and return the favor and black-list them like they are doing to the women. I know, this sounds naughty. But that may be the only way to get these folk to live up to their own denomination’s stand. Power may be all they understand or listen to. Gentle persuasion has been practiced now for several decades—they may only hear louder pressure from the rest of us—the vast majority of us. I figure if they can quietly black-list women from their district we can black-list them from speaking at our camp meetings and ministers conferences. Maybe they’ll straighten up and get with the program. What comes around goes around.

So, if you actively care about your daughter’s or granddaughter’s ministry maybe you should start asking questions about college spiritual emphasis week speakers, college professors and camp and conference speakers. Yes, and denominational religion divisions like mine (who has gone for the last three years straight with an all-male faculty). Perhaps you’ll want to start reviewing brochures and advertisements for itinerant speakers and pastor’s conferences. Maybe start asking around in order to find out if your DS in your denomination is one of those the women in ministry keep talking about. Perhaps you’ll want to track down the para-church organizations that are refusing to let women speak to the whole congregation—even letting them speak to churches that want them. When you discover the culprits, speak up and make sure they never speak at your camp or college spiritual emphasis week or conferences—for your daughter’s sake. Apparently “having a denominational stand” isn’t enough for these few holdouts. They need a louder voice. And it is time to speak. Otherwise we’ll just have to quit sending our daughters to the youth conventions.

Keith Drury 4/07/04

Keith.drury@TuesdayColumn.com

Seeds

2004-11-22T13:20:00.000-05:00

S.E.E.D.S. Student Action Group (Constitution)
Stewardship, Education, Environment, Disenfranchised, Service

ARTICLE I – Identification

SEEDS student action group of Indiana Wesleyan University is a non-profit organization. The members refer to themselves as SEEDS (using the acronym formed from five core values of Stewardship, Education, Environment, Disenfranchised, and Service).

ARTICLE II – Purpose

Section 1. This organization is founded to heighten awareness on campus of environmental and social justice issues through positive activities (see Amendment B) that build community and impact culture.

Section 2. This organization shall work closely with residence life staff, student government staff and the IWU community to provide mission centered events that enhance life on campus.

Section 3. This organization represents students and staffs who desire to impact their world, local town and campus with principals that promote Stewardship in our lives as Christians.

Section 4. This organization shall not knowingly, as a group become involved in any activity that goes against the policies of the university, or against the spirit behind policies as outlined in the student handbook.

Section 5. This organization is principal focused, desires to educate not proselytize, and has at its heart a Student Development theoretical approach. We are about experiential learning and invite others to join us as we practice stewardship.

ARTICLE III – Membership

Membership in SEEDS is open to anyone, but is limited by our membership rites and seasons at the beginning of each semester. The membership rites consist of attending at least 5 meetings, contributing positively in meetings; attending at least one experiential based program and signing a covenant statement (see Amendment A). There are no tiers to membership, except that we will have a staff/faculty board, an executive committee and charter membership status as well.

ARTICLE IV – Staff/Faculty Board

Our goal is to always have several faculty and staff on our board. We desire to see IWU model a learning environment where faculty and staff learn alongside students while building community. We are excited about the academic mission of IWU and hope to enhance it. We are also excited about the Mentoring focus of the Residence Life Program and hope to enhance it by encouraging relationships that draw faculty, staff and students into closer community while practicing stewardship issues. Faculty and Staff who serve on our board can serve a ½, full or extended term (1/2 = semester only, full=1 school year, extended=decided upon by charter membership vote).

ARTICLE V – Executive Committee

The executive Committee shall consist of a President, Vice-President, Secretary, Treasurer and Advisors who will meet frequently to discuss and evaluate the mission and goals of the organization.

Section 1. Executive Committee

The executive committee shall consist of four officers: a President, Vice-President, Treasurer/Secretary and Social Activities Coordinator. And one or more Advisors who shall be faculty or staff members employed at IWU.

Section 2. Duties of the Executive Committee Officers.

a. The duties of the President shall be to schedule meeting dates, preside at all the meetings, and to appoint committees and to ratify or approve all actions of the organization. The President shall be responsible to keep the organization within the boundaries of its constitution. The President must have a GPA of at least 2.50 and must not be on any academic or citizenship probation and must support the chapel program at IWU holding less than six skips per semester. The President must be a mentor on campus registered through Student Development’s mentoring program.

b. The duties of the Vice-President shall be to assume all of the duties of the President in the event that the President is absent or unable to perform his/her duties. The Vice-President must have a GPA of at least 2.50, must not be on academic or citizenship probation and must support the chapel program at IWU holding less than six skips per semester. The President must be a mentor on campus registered through Student Development’s mentoring program.

c. The duties of the Treasurer/Secretary are twofold: The duties as Treasurer shall be to keep an accurate record of the Residence Hall Association’s budget and expenses incurred including receipts. The duties as Secretary shall be to furnish minutes and information to the group as well as for the archives. The Secretary will furnish the minutes of the previous meeting to other members at each successive meeting. They will also make necessary payments to national organizations SEEDS affiliates with using account numbers provided. They will be responsible for communication to SGO/Student Development of changes to our constitution and practices and processes. The Secretary must have a GPA of at least 2.5, must not be on any academic or citizenship probation and must support the chapel program at IWU holding less than six skips per semester. The President must be a mentor on campus registered through Student Development’s mentoring program.

d. The duties of the Social Activities Officer are to schedule and facilitate calendar items, outreach opportunities and all experiential activities. They will coordinate the set-up and advertising of all on-campus and off-campus activities. They will also respond to the group’s email and update its web and print material.

ARTICLE V – Advisors

The advisor(s) will be currently employed IWU faculty or staff.

Section 1. The duties of the Advisor(s) are to attend the SEEDS meetings when necessary. He/She is in charge of handling the finances with the help of the Treasurer/Secretary. He/She also is to give support to the President and his/her staff.

ARTICLE VI – Meetings

Section 1. Meeting times and dates will be scheduled by the President. They shall be scheduled at the beginning of each semester.

Section 2. The President and Advisor(s) are authorized to call special meetings when needed.

Section 3. The Executive Committee shall meet at least once a month or more often if Advisor(s) deem necessary.

Section 4. The Advisor(s) is/are able to attend all meetings he/she feels necessary.

Section 5. The President must ask the advisor for any and all funds deemed necessary for the activities planned.

Section 6. SEEDS goal is to have one representative from each living area at each meeting. We may not attain this goal initially.

ARTICLE VII – Elections

The executive committee shall be appointed by the Advisor(s) and President. Advisors will be voted upon in open forum at any meeting needed. They will be elected by a 2/3 majority rule.

ARTICLE IX – Finances

Section 1. Funding for all SEEDS events must be approved by the Advisor(s).

Section 2. All receipts will be collected by the Treasurer and given to the Advisor to turn into the Student Development Office.

ARTICLE IX – Parliamentary Authority

The rules contained in the current edition of Robert’s Rules of Order Newly Revised shall govern the organization in all cases to which they are applicable and in which they are not inconsistent with the bylaws and any special rules or order the organization may adopt. Deviation from practice of Rules formally is appropriate when needed at meetings.

ARTICLE X – Amendments

The constitution for the SEEDS Student Action Group may be amended, repealed, or suspended by a two-thirds majority vote of the active members. Ballots must be cast in the person.

We hereby certify that the foregoing constitution was adopted by the current membership at large by a two-thirds majority vote on October 8th, 2004.

Juli Neff & Katrina Korreckt
Co-Presidents 2004-2005

Jason Makowsky & Jill Gay, RD's
Advisor's 2004-2005

Amendment A – Covenant Statement

As a member of SEEDS I seek to live a life that reflects the principal of stewardship. I will attempt this by living in community with my fellow members of SEEDS learning how to care for the environment, its natural resources and my body as a temple of the Holy Spirit. I will attend meetings regularly and be a positive contributor. I will adhere to the outlines within its constitution and look for ways to grow in my walk with Christ as I mentor a student on campus. I believe that the principals of Stewardship, Environmental care, Education, caring for the Disenfranchised and Service to mankind are Kingdom principals and I seek to better model them.

Amendment B – Program Outline

SEEDS Student organization
09/14/04
Submitted by Jason Makowsky

Historical info:
SEEDS idea was created in the fall of 2001 by Paul Stonehouse, a resident director in Hodson Hall. Its original aim was to:

“…educate ourselves, create an awareness [within campus] and surrounding communities, initiate recycling programs/Christian stewardship, community outreach in accordance with campus mission statement – Christ centered, changing the world by developing students in character, scholarship, leadership. Including servant leadership and stewardship of resources [even financial], and to break down barriers – we are not lunatics.”[1]

While it originally yielded 12 members, it never saw the next fall semester. It was a valorous start that was quickly frowned upon by administration because it seemed to suggest IWU had real problems when it came to modeling SEEDS core values of stewardship, environmental policy and care for the disenfranchised.

It attempted to create a lasting organization, but was unable to convince the IWU public that they were “not lunatics.” And thus, build a strong member base. The following is a master plan aimed at resurrecting the organization, changing its objectives slightly and building an organization appealing to students and administration alike. It is also my gift to Paul Stonehouse, my mentor, who taught me through modeling, that the environment is our gift from God and our gift back to Him is how we treat it.

Proposal for Resurrecting SEEDS:

Action steps… (Fall semester of 2004)
1. Research regional college groups similar to SEEDS (field trip?)
2. Fill out paperwork to become a campus group
3. Pursue grant from SGO ($750) to begin SEEDS again
4. Write a constitution
5. Get faculty support (Goff, Drury, Swyers etc…)
6. Get outside organizational support (e.g. Target Earth)
7. Advertise initial student group by shoulder tapping more than advertising, and begin meeting weekly
8. Fulfill objectives through experiential education instead of counter-cultural initiatives (e.g. signs that produce guilt)
9. Build an awareness of our group through positive-partnering initiatives

The “How To” of the above action steps…

Research regional student organizations
I know of several regional chapters (and my list is several years old): Earth Keepers (Wheaton College), Environmental Stewardship Coalition (Calvin College), Butler has a chapter too. Our first goal will be to see what is working and what isn’t. It is also a chance for us to network and make our job easier. We don’t have to re-create the wheel. Once data is collected we can proceed with the next steps.

Fill out paperwork to become campus organization
This step is relatively simple and is hardly worth mentioning, but it is a step we need to attend to. This also includes writing a constitution and petitioning SGO for funds (if available). This step will also generate some buzz with administration wondering if we “are lunatics” and hope to proselytize them all into becoming converts to environmentalism, but we need to at least have our re-defined goals and mission written by this time so they will see we mean them no harm.

Get faculty support
If we ever hope to make it through that first crucial year we need to tie our initiative into the academic side of the institution. This is not only smart politically, but gives us lasting power if it’s seen as an academic initiative (maybe even granting credit to some for lab or practicum experience). I would recommend shoulder tapping several key faculty members that seem to align with our core values like the one’s mentioned above.

Get outside organizational support
While this isn’t mandatory it gives us national resources and chapter name recognition. The key Christian organization seems to be Target Earth, which we have contacted in the past. I would also recommend becoming members of several secular organizations too so we don’t just stay in the bubble.

Recruit Student Base
For our first semester I would recommend recruiting those we know align with our values as well as advertising canvas of interested students who we don’t know yet. We can start with a group as small as six, but 10 would be nice. After that we shouldn’t have a problem with members. I recommend stiff membership criteria so we can keep our values pure since we are a value driven organization.

Experiential Education vs. Proselytizing
This is a subtle difference, but people are not motivated by hate advertising such as catchy posters that convince one they are a rotten dirty consumer of raw materials and they are killing animals, groundwater and making the future bleak by how they waste. They are motivated to a group that has lots of fun, learns about conservation and social action through experiencing it first hand and enjoying each other’s community. This will be our stance and I believe it will attract so many students we will need to open another chapter by the fall of 2005. Below are some of the ways I hope to accomplish this:

þ Concert, co-sponsored by SAC by recognized artist who also models the values we dispense.
þ GeoCaching trip that teaches outdoor care as well as orienteering skills.
þ High Pointers trip discovering local State high points while learning about natural resources and visiting natural spots along the way.
þ Send student sponsor (through grants) to any Soul Search Adventure or Drury outdoor trip with specific goal of modeling SEEDS values to participants.
þ Become local chapter of Rails-to-Trails (Cardinal Greenway) resource center.
þ Co-Sponsor multiple departmental initiatives modeling service to faculty and staff. Clean-up after picnics, community walk day, etc…
þ Have a homeless awareness night where we sleep outdoors in boxes, while fasting and having worship/prayer services.
þ Vision cast how to reach campus in Spring with SEEDS values

Things to cover in a first meeting:
Introduction of idea, why, history
Prayer for what God’s heart is, readings, challenge
Call to action, build a strong foundation
Membership initiative
Fall goals, weekly meetings outline

[1] These notes are taken from the archived meeting minutes (02/05/01). Probably their second or third meeting. No other meeting notes exist.

A Case Study

2004-11-22T13:01:00.000-05:00

A Case Study
Jason Makowsky
Indiana Wesleyan University

Submitted for CSA 552: Process of Adult Development
Azusa Pacific University
Dr. Carol Lundberg

Case Study
Grant is a trustworthy leader. He is loved by all on his staff and as a senior others look up to him and his decision making ability. Tonight, after heading home to his dormitory apartment, Grant stops his hall director and asks if they can talk. His countenance reveals that he is wrestling with something big. Grant begins to explain how his relationship with his girlfriend of five years, who he is now engaged to, has never been satisfying. He admits that he thinks that he should break off his engagement of eight months and wants his hall director’s advice. The hall director questions whether Grant just needs to take a break from her, or if his mind is made up? Whichever, he claims he is positive he cannot marry his fiancé. Despite the counsel, Grant decides to drive to his fiancé’s house and meet with her and her family to call off the wedding. The news is not received well. The family is angry and his fiancé is crushed. After hours of discussing the issue, Grant and his fiancé both agree this is the best decision even though others will not understand. He returns that Monday and updates everyone on how things went. Rumors have already begun on the small campus and many people are angry with him and do not understand, but Grant holds to his decision with little support from others.

Abstract
What makes the above situation interesting to this author is the courage Grant took in defying all social norms by breaking off his engagement. This paper will discuss Grant’s story employing insights from Schlossberg’s (1984) Transitions theory as well as Chickering’s (1969) theory on Identity Development. Further discussion will determine whether the theories were useful in helping understand Grant’s developmental process and where the theories failed to lend expertise.

Discussion
Chickering’s revised vectors (Chickering & Reisser, 1993) define the third vector as moving through autonomy toward interdependence. This transition-like vector describes what Grant was faced with in the above case study. He not only made a defining decision contrary to popular opinion, but also worked out the ramifications of the decision in a broader community. He realized that many more people were involved in the wedding day than just himself and his fiancé. He involved her parents in the discussion which illustrated his understanding of the inter-connected nature of his dilemma. Grant clearly showed autonomy and emotional independence typical of vector three likely having arrived there by years of processing this decision. Gray (1999) would compare Grant’s years of processing to the male temperament to go into their cave while sorting problems out. He says, “Men become increasingly focused and withdrawn [when dealing with stress]” (p. 29). Grant’s months of earlier processing, and recent processing with his resident director, revealed his transition through autonomy. Grant showed signs of movement into Chickering’s fourth vector by the way he and his fiancé came to consensus on this issue. The fourth vector describes one who is tolerant of others' views and displays “…the ability to accept individuals for who they are, to respect differences, and to appreciate commonalities” (Reisser, 1995, p. 509).

One interesting result of Grant’s maturation during this time is how his faith development blossomed amidst the crisis. One would assume his decision, in the face of such disapproval, would cause Grant to doubt or at least struggle in his faith, but as he processed the outcome he began to point to ways he perceived God had given him strength. He could sense a renewed excitement in his faith identity. Jones et al. (1986) argue that “spiritual development is no steady, regular advance, but is punctuated by crises in which growth appears to have come to a stop for a time…” (p. 566). Grant’s spiritual breakthrough was certainly a time of growth due to crisis. One weakness of Chickering & Reisser’s (1993) theory is the lack of any type of faith identity as part of maturation. Even in the identity or purpose vectors, the exclusion of faith is apparent, although surely not expected from theorists who do not evaluate from a faith viewpoint.

Grant was also at a cross-road in his development. Not only had he grappled with his faith, relationships, and sense of self, his decision also caused him to wonder about his purpose for the future. He had prepared himself mentally as one who would be married while entering the ministry vocation, but now had to re-invent this self-perception. Grant was juggling with four of Chickering’s vectors during this one decision, which shows the interrelation of the vectors within the model and the model’s inherent weakness in framing development more fluidly. While it helps one understand small achievements along the way it does little to account for student perception, hindsight evaluation, or disordered movement through the vectors.

Another model that frames Grant’s situation in new light is one proposed by Schlossberg et al., (1995). In this Transition model development is outlined as more of a continuum, as opposed to Chickering’s static model of development. Grant’s level of meaning or perception he placed on his decision and its consequences played a vital role in how it caused him to develop. The decision to break off his engagement had rippling effects as well, which, in turn, were new transitions he experienced. Not only was Grant’s fiancé and her family hurt, but friends back at school were too. Valuable to understanding the impact of the transition, Schlossberg et al. propose defining the transition in light of its type, context, and impact. Grant’s decision was unanticipated (type), involved his personal life and public life back at school and within his small town (context), and changed his daily pattern somewhat (impact). The transitional effects he continues to experience are part of the process of understanding and growing through this crisis. Schlossberg et al., (1995) frame their understanding of a transition as one “… moving in,” “moving through,” and “moving out” (Evans et al., 1998, p. 112), of the transition. Grant spent years moving into the transition as he processed feelings toward his fiancé privately. He moved through the transition by processing it with close friends and his hall director and inevitably his fiancé. Finally, as he understands its impact, he puts meaning to it and grows; evidence he is moving out of the transition.

As Grant evaluates his situation he has numerous factors that dictate how he will cope with the situation. Schlossberg et al., (1995) outline in their model many ways of defining more clearly resources that are either pros or cons; referred to as assets and liabilities within the model. Some of Grant’s assets are his optimistic attitude and humble spirit, his support network at home and among close friends, and his desire to cope with the problem by actively taking responsibility for his actions. A few liabilities might be how long he delayed making his decision and what internal factors might still be unrealized as to why he broke off the engagement. The Transition model looks more in depth at the person and the situation to discern meaning. It takes into account more than just the perceived behavior of the individual.

Grant’s particular decision, although significant, seemed to resolve agreeably. He has reconciled with his fiancé and they both are happy with the outcome. They both point to their break-up as significant in their adult development and instrumental in opening more honest dialogue with their parents. Also, they both see sizeable growth in their faith development.

By looking at this situation through the eyes of the mentioned theorists it becomes clear how Grant has been changed by and has learned from the situation. It is also evident that behind everyday decisions, extraordinary growth takes place. Without Grant’s faith, one wonders if things would have worked out much differently. He might have not felt as justified in breaking things off with his fiancé if he did not sense a leading from a divine source. A review of these theories has indeed illustrated that much more was occurring in Grant than the plain eye could see.

References
Chickering, A.W. (1969). Education and identity. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Chickering, A.W., & Reisser, L. (1993). Education and identity (2nd ed.). San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Evans, N., Forney, D. & Guido-DiBrito, F. (1998). Student development in college: Theory, research and practice (pp. 20-202). San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Gray, J., Ph.D., (1999). Men are from Mars, women are from Venus (p. 29). New York: Harper Collins.
Jones, C., Wainwright, G., & Yarnold, E. (1986). The study of spirituality (p. 566). New York: Oxford University Press.
Reisser, L. (1995). Revisiting the seven vectors. Journal of college student development, 36, 505-511.
Schlossberg, N.K. (1984). Counseling adults in transition. New York: Springer.
Schlossberg, N.K., Waters, E.B., & Goodman, J. (1995). Counseling adults in transition (2nd ed.). New York: Springer.

Gay & Lesbian Identity Theory

2004-11-05T18:37:00.000-05:00

Seeking Self-Synthesis: A Review of Vivienne Cass’ Model

of Homosexual Identity Formation
Jason Makowsky
Indiana Wesleyan University

Submitted in fulfillment for
CSA 552: Process of Adult Development
Azusa Pacific University
Dr. Carol Lundberg

Abstract

This review of Vivienne Cass’ Homosexual Identity Formation (HIF) model will begin with a brief biographical sketch of the theorist, a historical review of the homosexual culture in America, including the early debate that birthed the model, and the research methods used to develop Cass’ theory. It will highlight the revisions made to the theory recently and site other contributing theories that respond to the Model. A complete outline of the theory as stages, its strengths and weaknesses, and practical uses for both Christian and secular student affairs practitioners will be presented.

Biography

When the term homosexual was first coined in America at the end of the nineteenth century (Rainbow, ¶ 6) we would wait one hundred years before America would begin to understand sexuality in terms of an identity. An Australian named Vivienne Cass is credited with scripting the first homosexual development model (Cass, 1979) which paved the way for later theories. With an earned counseling doctorate from Western Australia’s Murdoch University, and a bachelor and master’s degree from the University of Western Australia in Counseling, Cass is known widely as a clinician, speaker and writer. She is notable in the gay community for being: “The most frequently cited [theorist] of homosexual identity development” (Evans et al., 1998, p. 92). Instead of writing prolifically in Journals, Dr. Cass remains in private clinical practice in Australia. As well as her practice, Cass is also active speaking on the topic of sexology and women’s sexual issues. Her recent work in this area was published in March of 2004 and is heralded as the “…first sex book for women in 30 years” (Media Release, 2004).
Background

Some contend that homosexuality has been with us throughout the ages, but our understanding or even acceptance of it as a lifestyle, at least in America, is a recent phenomenon. A simplistic understanding of America’s history might outline the movement in phases. It began, in the 1930’s by defining the person within the lifestyle as “neurotic, mentally unstable, masochistic, repressed, and egocentric (Deacon et al., 1996, p. 242). It continued throughout the 1940’s and 1950’s by referring to the secretive lifestyle and behavior as ‘homosexual’ with a negative connotation. The 1960’s to present heard the term ‘gay,’ referring to those who identified themselves as such. They were open about issues of sexuality and fought for the rights of their cause. And the 1980’s onward those who strongly identified themselves as gay and openly opposed heterosexuality refer to themselves as ‘queer’ (Dilley, 2002). This typology proposed by Dilley frames the hostility in the twentieth century toward homosexual Americans.

Theory

Cass based her theory on observations during clinical work with gay and lesbian clients in Australia. Her early theory (1979) was a linear-stage model in response to earlier thoughts that homosexuals were merely defined by their behavior. She likely patterned her theory after the multi-stage models of personality development pioneered by people such as sociologist Charles Horton Cooley, philosopher George Herbert Mead, and psychoanalysts Sigmund Freud and Erik Erikson (Blumenfeld & Raymond, 1988, 1993). They believed that personal identity progressed along an interactive dialogue between the individual and his or her environment. Such models may differ in their nuances of human development but all share the basic assumption that humans move through life experiences within a particular framework or schema. Many other noted researchers proposed theoretical models during this time too, they include: Coleman, 1981-1982; Hencken & O’Dowd, 1977; Lee, 1977; McLellan, 1977; B. Miller, 1978; Plummer, 1975; Schafer, 1976; Schultz, 1976; Troiden, 1977 and Weinberg, 1977. This created a rich culture of theory during this time of the emerging homosexual movement aiding later researchers such as, D’Augelli, 1994a; Dilley, 2002; Fassinger, 1998, and Savin-Williams, 1995; built on these earlier theories.

Cass’ (1984) theory presupposes an identity that develops as the homosexual responds to their social environments. Thus, her “psycho-social” model outlines six stages individuals progress through as they seek to come to synthesis with self and society (Evans et al., 1998). In stage one, or identity confusion, a person is beginning to question their assumed heterosexuality. They may either seek to explore their confusion, and thus, move onto stage two or reject it and live in denial. Dilley (2002) suggests that men at this point usually fall into four categories: normal, closeted, parallel, or denying. Normal men are just that, like normal heterosexuals, except they have experimented with men, but it has not changed their identity or lifestyle. Closeted individuals have a same-sex attraction and may even acknowledge privately a gay identity, but don’t interact with other gay men for fear of making it public. Parallel men live two distinct lives keeping both very hidden from the other to avoid tensions. And finally denying men who don’t allow them selves to have an affective, emotional side; they deny it. All four seem to be a form of repression. It is in Cass’ second, identity comparison stage, that the person accepts that they may have homosexual feelings or inclinations, but they still view themselves as heterosexual. In the third stage, identity tolerance, the individual begins to tolerate the concept of a homosexual identity and seeks to be around other individuals who may also identify as homosexual. In moving beyond this toleration stage to acceptance of a homosexual identity, this person, in stage four, begins to identify as a part of a homosexual community. The person feels more comfortable around other homosexual men and women and also begins to self-disclose this identity to others. During identity pride; the fifth stage, the person intensely immerses themselves in homosexual communities and develops strong homosexual networks. They have a more intensified need to self-disclose this identity to others. In identity synthesis, which is stage six of the model, the person finds ways to incorporate this identity in other areas of their lives. The person’s roles and networks are no longer excluded to homosexuals.

Cass’ (1984) model outlined numerous cognitive, behavioral and, affective dimensions used to describe an individual more specifically in their identity development (see Table 1). The dimensions “fill-in the blanks” of the static stage model that might seem rigid at times. The stages are “distinguished by which dimensions are present in individuals at each stage and by the degree of importance given to these dimensions” (Cass, 1984, p. 147).

Method
Cass’ (1984) research elicited the help of sources she met at various events and through her clinical experience as a therapist. While this may seem like a conflict of interest her research methodology wasn’t dependent upon subjectivity. “The design did not require that subjects be randomly selected” (p. 154), she claims. She contacted 227 subjects and 78% of her questionnaires were returned filled-out. The gender split was 109 males and 69 females, of whom 103 and 63 respectively were able to define them selves to exactly one of her stages. She did not include the other 12 respondents in the survey results because they were between stages.

The instrument employed was an identity questionnaire of over two-hundred questions representing the sixteen dimensions she outlined as integral to stage formation (see Table 1). From this she was able to roughly fit her respondents into six grouped categories (stages) using a stage allocation measure. This measure summarized the dimensions into small paragraphs reflecting the value placed upon them. An addition of a level called pre-stage one was added (although no rationale could be found for this). Her questions were set-up on a likert-style scale, with some representing short answers. From the questions presented early predictions were made as to how certain levels of respondents would answer questions. This prediction-style developed the score key used to rate future respondents to the norm of responses. The test along with stage allocation sheet and biographical write-up were sent via mail to respondents assuring them of anonymity. A reminder letter was sent two weeks later with another self-addresses stamped envelop enclosed.

Support and Criticism

The strength of the theory [figure 1.1] initially lies in its psychological and social approach to development as well as a later update Cass (1984) made by adding empirical research. The model differs from others, taking a positive approach to becoming homosexual instead of viewing it through a negative lens (Cass, 1984). It also included gender research that could shed light into lesbian identity development. The most noted finding was the degree to which men tended to fit more neatly into her stages, while women tended to reflect the across-group hypothesis (predicted to actual score was lower). It was the first extensive research done on the most elaborate theory of it’s time.

Critics of the theory disagree with its premise that one must understand it as an identity and not just a set of behaviors. DuBay (1979) views “homosexual identity as a construct expressly created by professional in the field” (Cass, 1984, p.165). Cass (1984) admits that her results only show significance at stages one, five and six (p < .001), with stage three registering low significance (p < .05). She offers fair evidence to support reasons why her findings didn’t fully support her research theory and admits that further work on her method, assumptions and, assessment tools are necessary. Another deviation from her findings is the research of Ritch Savin-Williams (1995), who contends that gender identity for women is more emotional in nature, and for men it is more sexual. He says, “If you want to understand a young woman with same-sex attraction you would do better to understand that she is a young woman first and foremost. She is more like a straight young woman than a gay young man” (Winter, 2004, p. 15). Others such as Kathleen Edwards assert, “Sexual identity is a complex concept that involves biological factors, gender roles, sociocultural influences, and sexual orientation in relation to sexual development” (Edwards & Brooks, 1999, p. 1). And the response from the Christian scholar’s has been varied. While no response in the form of a proposed theory is appropriate, since some conservative Christians label homosexuality’s etiology as a choice, not an identity, many have proposed healing therapies that seem to reverse the stages proposed by identity theorists, moving struggling gays back to heterosexuality (Throckmorton, 1998). Other scholarly reviews have supported the claims of Throckmorton and others and these represent a vast array of literature that has yet to gain credence with the clinical world. Worth noting is the findings of Dr. Robert Spitzer, one time President of the American Psychological Association (APA), whose interest in homosexuals digressing through identity development and attaining heterosexuality again, ruffled the research community (Throckmorton, 2004). Applications

Whether in a secular or religious environment the research suggests volumes of recommendations for student affairs professionals as they seek to meet the needs of the emerging generation of college students entering our campuses. Some practical steps are to create environments that are safe for the exploration of sexual identity. Newly created centers for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered and Queer (GLBTQ) students are becoming many universities way of providing support for this sexual-minority. Other ideas encourage a complete examination of the entire institution (Sanlo, 2002). He proposes changes in what language we use, how silent we are, how well we train, mentor and research new ways to address the needs of GLBTQ students. Other schools have adopted specialized living environments, clubs and gay-strait initiatives and have found success. The increased population of gay and lesbian students in Christian institutions of higher education has prompted the bravest of schools to host colloquium on the subject.

Conclusions

Cass’ (1984) theory of homosexual identity formation is useful to this researcher as he seeks to understand the life experiences of many young men who daily “squirm in the closet” with their sexual identity in a hostile Christian environment. It also is helpful in framing the social nature of this model and how it is inextricably linked to living in community. And it serves as a reference point to move beyond the etiology of the issue and begin to ask why homosexual identity forms so similarly for so many students? More profound exegesis of scripture will be required for the new generation of church leaders as this issue will continue to polarize our nation, as was evident in our recent election. Christians have been forced into a catch-22 scenario between love and justice. Must we love our neighbor or defend our heritage?

Figure 1.1 Cass’ (HIF) Model

Stage One, identity confusionä
Information about homosexuality becomes personally relevant for the individual at this stage, thus causing the person to be confused about his or her sexual identity. A person begins to wonder if he or she is gay or lesbian.

Stage Two, identity comparison ä
A person in this stage accepts the possibility that he or she is gay or lesbian. For many, it is a

way to help cope with the confusion that is prevalent in stage one.

Stage Three, identity tolerance ä
The individual accepts the fact that he or she is gay. This leads to a process of recognizing the needs associated with being gay.

Stage Four, identity acceptanceä
A person desires more contact with gay culture, which increases contact with other gay people. The increased contact leads to a more positive gay self-image. This is an important step in the coming-out experience.

Stage Five, identity prideä
The individual in this stage becomes immersed in gay life, which means that they spend little time interacting with heterosexual people. There can be anger at heterosexual people who are no longer viewed as allies during this stage.

Stage Six, identity synthesis
A person realizes that it is not an us-versus-them situation. The anger experienced in the previous stage subsides and it is now possible to believe that people who are not gay can be allies and can be trusted
*adapted from a University of Maine web-publication (Graham & Phelps, 2003-2004)

References

Blumenfeld, W.J. & Raymond, D., (1988, 1993). Looking at gay and lesbian life. Boston: Beacon Press. Retrieved as a partial reprint at http://www.geocities.com/
WestHollywood/Parade/9548/article_sexual_identity.html

Cass, V. (1979). Homosexual identity formation: A theoretical model. Journal of homosexuality. 4(3), 219-235.

Cass, V. C. (1984). Homosexual identity formation: Testing a theoretical model. Journal of Sex Research, 20(2), 143-167.

Coleman, E., (1981-1982). Developmental stages of the coming-out process. The Journal of Homosexuality.

D'Augelli, A. R. (1994a). Identity development and sexual orientation: Toward a model of lesbian, gay, and bisexual development. In E. J. Trickett, R. J. Watts, & D. Birman (Eds.), Human diversity: Perspectives on people in context (pp. 312-333). San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

Deacon, S. A., Reinke, L., & Viers, D. (1996). Cognitive-behavioral therapy for bisexual couples: Expanding the realms of therapy. The American Journal of Family
Therapy, 24, 242-258.

Dilley, P. (2002). Queer man on campus: A history of non-heterosexual college men, 1945–2000. New York: Routledge-Falmer.

DuBay, W.H., (1979). Gay identity: Concept problems and alternatives. Unpublished manuscript.

Edwards, K. & Brooks, A. (1999). The development of sexual identity. New Directions for Adult and Continuing Education, 84, 49-57.

Evans, N., Forney, D. & Guido-DiBrito, F. (1998). Student development in college: Theory, research and practice (pp. 89-106). San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

Fassinger, R. E. (1998). Lesbian, gay, and bisexual identity and student development theory. In R. L. Sanlo (Ed.), Working with lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender college students: A handbook for faculty and administrators (pp. 13-22). Westport, CT: Greenwood Press.

Graham, J., Phelps, L., (2003-2004). Creating safe spaces for all youth: Working with gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth. Family Issues: Current research on family topics for Maine educators, 4428. Retrieved from http://www.umext.maine.edu/ onlinepubs/htmpubs/4428.htm

Hencken, J.D. & O’Dowd, W.T. (1977). Coming out as an aspect of identity formation. Gay academic union journal: Gay saber, 1, 18-26.

Lee, J.A. (1977). Going public: A study in the sociology of homosexual liberation. Journal of homosexuality, 3, 49-78.

McLellan, E.A. (1977), Lesbian identity: A theological and psychological inquiry into the developmental stages of the identity of a lesbian. Unpublished manuscript.

Media Release. (2004). Retrieved Novemeber 4, 2004 from Brightfire Press’ Web site: http://www.brightfire.com .au/press_room_-_media_releases_-_03_04_-_doc_01.php

Miller, B. (1978). Adult sexual resocialization: Adjustments towards a stigmatized identity. Alternative lifestyles, 1, 207-234.

Plummer, K. (1975). Sexual stigma: An interactionist account. New York: Routledge & Kegan-Paul.

Rainbow Educators. (n.d.). Retrieved Novemeber 4, 2004 from University of San Diego’s, United Front Web site: http://www.sandiego.edu/unitedfront/Rainbow411.htm

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Ralph W. Kerry

2004-11-03T23:42:00.000-05:00

My mood right now: TIRED
My Music right now: Jars Of Clay, Sing of Your Mercies

OK, the election is over and I confess; I watched the whole thing until about midnight. Then I went home and listened to it on the radio until about 1am. Then I woke up early to see what had happened. I know for sure that others did too, I could see it in their eyes the next day. The cool thing was that it was an absolute waste of time. I confess (again), I am a moderate politically. My close friends hate me sometimes, I argue the issue from all sides when it is convenient (or interesting) to me. But somewhere between Tim Russert, MSNBC and FoxNews I became addicted using multiple forms of media to feed my addiction (TV, radio, internet and lunch discussions).

As a moderate I really didn't care who won the election! Sure, my upbringing leaves the residue of religious conservatism all over my teeth, but I am one of the few who is getting more liberal as he gets older (more on that later). So, If I could create a candidate (like I would a fantasy football team, or XBox basketball team) it would be swell. I would give him (or her) environmental concern (x10) and Pro-life tendencies with appeal to liberals (x10) and smooth conversational ability (like a jazz-lick, x10). They would be a cross between Alan Keyes, Ronald Reagan, Teddy Roosevelt and Shania Twain (nice hair).

On a serious note, I was taken back by the neato ice-rink display in Freedom Square on election night that would shade the stenciled map either blue or red depending on which candidate won the states electoral vote. It now serves as a reminder of how polarized our nation is. Conservatism is dead. The new pundant will be highly educated and will become more moderate every year in my opinion. Care to chime in?

Bin Laden Lives!

2004-10-29T15:36:00.000-05:00

If the world can make a big deal out of a Bin Laden video, I can make a big deal out of this blog. Every friend I have is launching a blog and putting everything from grocery lists to their Master's Thesis online. I figure I can't post anything as stupid as these two things, so I'll aim between and leave my mark on this new medium. The funny thing is that my friends and I hardly ever talk anymore, but they'll gladly leave updated info for perfect strangers on the web? What a hoot!